Daylight savings made me lose an hour of sleep, but I didn't let a little fatigue keep me from joining the St. James Choir one last time. When I arrived, the first person that I saw was my dentist. I gave her a hug and said, "Oh, I was thinking about you and wanted to let you know that I'm moving out of town, so I won't need any reminder notes."
She could only think about the bill from August that my ex-husband never paid though. "Your ex-husband still hasn't paid for your son's visit."
"No! He and his new wife wrote to me that they would take care of it. I'm so sorry."
"I'm about to send him to collections."
"Does that cost you anything?"
"It's bad for his credit score."
"You know what, I'll just pay it, so you don't have to be bothered. I still have the bill that you sent to me about this. I can't believe that he is still so irresponsible."
Then I went and gave my dear bass friend a big hug. I'm going to miss him. His wife left him right when I was establishing a woman cave without the ex. We vented on each other's shoulders about the ex's. Now he's in an expensive custody suit, since his son wants to live with him and not his mom. I'm just so glad that I hung in there and the kids got to live in one nice home in a great school district. Emotionally it was awful, but there are times in life when you have to focus on the greater good---my kids only living in one home.
A soprano friend, who's always made sure that my music wasn't blocking her view of our music director, gave me a hug and joked, "I guess that I won't be telling you what to do any more." When I pulled out my personal Catholic liturgy reference guide for the proper wording of our responses, she added, "Oh, can I have that when you go?"
It was glorious to sing with my fabulous alto section one last time. I made sure to sing with careful control for my last mass at St. James. After we said, "...I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." I handed my friend my reference guide. I knew all the rest of the responses by heart after that line.
My eyes felt warm with impending tears after that gesture which signified the end of my choir time. My voice started to crack with the revelation that this was my last time singing with my beloved St. James choir. I bent over and dabbed my eyes with a tissue, felt better getting a little more blood to my head, and held back the tears to focus on the last songs. As soon as the last song was sung, the tears flowed. My soprano friend hugged me as I sobbed, "Another chapter is closed."
"There will be many new chapters to open."
The director had everyone get in a circle around me and lay hands on me and prayed to bless my new life ahead of me. Most of the members said a personal prayer over me. I was deeply touched and felt that I was in God's hands now.
My lunch date was a Fianna. She and I both had daughters that were beyond tempestuous. She wanted to pay me for my book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," by taking me out to lunch. I mentioned to her, "I'm sure glad that God told me to call you and go on a picnic with you."
She smiled at the remembrance of how I called her out of the blue and asked, "Hey, do you want to go for a picnic?" She was going to call me, because apparently God put it in her mind to get me to join her "One-Way Relationship" group.
I put a little picnic together and instead of going somewhere, we had a picnic in her mansion's master bedroom looking out at the beautiful Batiquitos Lagoon. She had me take the "One-Way Relationship" test right on her floor, and I was positively in a One-Way Relationship. In fact, our marriages were quite similar.
"When I did this 'One-Way Relationship' group, I ended up finally divorcing my emotionally abusive husband. This will change your life, too," she insisted.
It certainly did. I saw the error of my ways and got rid of my emotionally abusive ex-husband who was living with me. Now I don't need antidepressants and I rarely drink at home anymore. It amazes me that my ex-husband made me mentally ill. I would have never thought that possible, but I didn't set proper boundaries upon him and didn't understand how he was undermining me. Now I know and say far away from him.
When I returned to my apartment to pack, one of the first things that I did was put the Valentines coffee cup that my ex-husband gave me downstairs by the dumpster, so others in the complex could take it. I want my new chapters of life to have no reminders of him.
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