Sunday, May 27, 2012

Sometimes Doing What God Asks Is Beyond Difficult!

     When my son, Drew, was in the ICU in a medicated coma with two bruised lungs from his car accident, I asked God while resting my head on my pillow on my son's hospital bed, "What can I do for you to heal my son?" 
      His answer was not what I wanted to hear.  "You must apologize to your ex-husband for leaving him with nothing."
      "I don't know what to say?  How can I possibly find that apology within me when I don't feel that I did anything wrong?  You told me not to intervene and give him the $10,000 when we left each other."
      Then His words filled me.  I wrestled with them as I calmly rested my head.  Oh, I didn't want to lift my head and tell Parker what I had to tell him, but I had to do so to save my son.  I slowly raised my head and looked at my ex-husband, Parker, with his new wife in his lap being cute newly weds while fretting about Drew's condition.
      My mouth opened and the words flowed out effortlessly, "Parker, I'm sorry that I was the instrument that God used to bring you to the bottom.  You've become a better person because of that though, and you have a wife that can meet your needs that I could never meet.  I'm happy for you."
      Parker responded immediately, "Wow, that must have been really hard for you to say."
      That was an understatement!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Wake Up Calls

     When I feel distant from God, he always makes sure to give me a wake up call to completely rely upon him again.  I guess that I've been spending so much time focusing on building "My" new life, I forgot that this is really "God's" new life for me.  Being forgetful about who gave me a second chance at life is never good.
      First, my cousin, Andy, got a third round of nonHodgkins Type B lymphoma and will be getting stem cell replacement.  Hopefully, that will cure him permanently from this continual struggle with lymphoma.  Then while I was getting my blood drawn for my new doctor in Sacramento, I got a call from my ex-husband that my son was in the ICU at Scripts La Jolla and was being incubated.
      One thing that I've learned is the power of massive healing prayer from many.  So I joined the prayer warriors for my cousin and enlisted my prayer warriors from Facebook and all the churches at which I formerly worshipped in San Diego to pray for my son to heal quickly.  Then I flew to be by my son's side to hold his hand and pray for him right next to him.
      Miraculously, my son survived a terrible roll over accident that shut down I-5 near Camp Pendleton.  Miraculously, he had no broken bones or stitches.  Miraculously, God's angels protected him.  (I pray that God surround my children with angels for protection every night btw.)  Miraculously, he is healing quickly from two bruised lungs and a small brain bleed.  Miraculously, he should be able to be back to normal in a week.
      Thank you God!  I love you God!  Glory to you God forever and ever!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak

    A voice within me was insistent upon visiting my daughter, though she did not want me to visit.  We have been estranged for three years, and I didn't understand why.  I had taken her on many adventures and did all the things that my parents did for me, but I didn't empathize with her when she was sad.  I thought that I had, but that's the funny thing about Aspergers---Aspies had no clue how they're being received by others.
    As I packed for my trip filled with anxiety about the difficult emotions that were going to be wrestled, I realized that I should bring a book with me for the plane and when my daughter has to work.  I grabbed a book in my cue to read, "The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak.  Apparently, God knew which book I was going to need for this trip.  It was perfect!
    "The RoadMap Home, Your GPS to Inner Peace" gave me peace on the plane.  I'd moved around the most important circle of petals in his book---Adaptation, Becoming an Orphan, Wake-up Calls and Signposts, Staying Awake, Healing Wounds and Breaking Free, and Heartfelt Connection.  I was in the Healing Wounds and Breaking Free petal of the Leonard's flower.  I'd broken free and started a new life in Sacramento, but my wounds from my broken relationship with my daughter and inability to connect with a romantic interest weighed on me.
     Leonard's book helped me hold on to my True Self while lovingly discussing difficult, heart-wrenching issues with my daughter.  His book helped me love my Aspergers self which caused the rifts in my life.  I was able to openly say as a mother, "I don't understand you.  I understood you brother better, but now I don't understand him either.  You were my little porcupine, because I could never get passed your long needles to figure out what was going on with you."  I would have denied my Aspergers self and that I lacked understanding before I read the book.  I would have tried to camouflage my Aspergers as I was trained to do by my mother.
    Using the Guiding Power of Spirit (GPS), I was able to stay listening with love while my daughter listed all the horrible things that I said to her when I was trying to mimic empathy and comfort her.  My GPS helped me not hate myself for being such a cretin and having so little control or filtering over my comments.  The last thing that I ever wanted to do was hurt my daughter.
    We even got to the subject that I should have never stopped being an engineer.  I should have never tried to be a stay-at-home mom.  My daughter was so damaged by my comments that she wasn't able to love herself.  I cried for her.  I inflicted upon her deep emotional wounds within her without even trying.  My daughter was completely miserable, because of me.
    After intently listening and following her directions about not trying to be empathetic with her again, but just holding her while she cried and listening to her, I started to do that.  We made a lot of progress.  We worked through a lot of scars.  I just have to give her space now for her to process our discussions, for her to take my Asperger test results to a psychologist for proper help for her, and for her to read "The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak, too. 
     God wanted me to grab that book for the plane.  He wanted me to use Leonard's tools to start a healing within my daughter.  He wanted me to finish the book while my daughter needed her space to regroup after our emotional discussions.  God's Guiding Power of Spirit wanted me to give this book to my daughter, so that she could start the process of finding inner peace.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Making Peace With My Daughter and My Aspergers

     Having Aspergers means that I can misinterpret a great time that I had with someone else fairly easily.  Unfortunately, my visit to Ohio was causing my daughter great pain.  She saw me and remembered how she never had the mother that she wanted.  She had a mother with Aspergers who didn't understand her and just got frustrated with and yelled at her.
     We would have some enormous screaming fights.  I would say things that I were logical, but were harsh and painful to hear for a little girl.  I'd call her my porcupine, because I could never penetrate her needles to figure out what she needed.  Though I took her on adventure after adventure, chauffeured her where ever she needed to go, and taught her how to be a mountain girl, I failed miserably as a mother due to my inability to empathize when she was sad. 
    Oh, I tried to empathize.  If she had a problem, I'd tell her about a similar problem that I had to make her feel better.  Unfortunately, my problem would be something totally horrible and compound her sorrow and overwhelm her.  Poor thing. 
    At least now we've had a difficult discussion for two days about forgiveness, love, and boundaries.  I know without any doubts what I've done to deserve our estrangement for three years.  I know through our shared tears and hugs that this will be a long road to rebuild our relationship.
    Through her tears she's asked why I can't forgive her dad for what he did and accept that he has changed?  Why am I asking her to forgive me and accept that I will do better when I can't accept her dad's change?  She finally realized that I am unable to see my ex-husband's change due to my inability to understand people's inner feelings due to my Aspergers.  I have to observe his actions over a period of years to be sure that he's not pretending to be a good person like he did for years with me.  Time will tell me his story of transformation.
     My daughter and I made a lot of headway today though.  She asked me to be formally diagnosed with Aspergers, since her psychologists think that she's just a complaining teenage daughter.  So I took two respected online tests for Aspergers and passed with flying colors, made a document of my test questions with my answers and results, and sent them off to her before she returned from her volunteer orientation as a CNA. 
     The tests were http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php and http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html.   Apparently, the circular charted results is an Aspie's badge and has to be kept as a source of pride.  We are called Aspies, apparently.  What a cute name for us.  There's even an Aspie Affection dating sight http://www.aspieaffection.com/index.php?page=login&errid=104.  My daughter strongly urged me to try to date men with Aspergers, so I joined.  I won't hurt any more unsuspecting normal men via my inability to be empathetic.  I won't be wasting time on a hopeless relationship path.  Someone would have to live with me to see that I have Aspergers.  It's painfully obvious then, because I have rigid routines, get over stimulated easily, go off on tangents in one-sided conversations, and have a need to be alone to calm down.
     Fortunately, when my daughter, Sara, returned home from her volunteer job, she was happy with me.  She told me that my Microsoft Word document of my two test results were perfect for her to show her psychologists in the future.  Now people will believe that she has a mother with Aspergers.  All that's left for me to do besides be quiet and just hug her when she's crying about something, is for me to research how to be a better mother with the confines of having Aspergers.
   

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Great Mother's Day Visiting My Daughter in Ohio

     Sara, Jon, and I had a great time together for Mother's Day today. On our way to the Cleveland Aquarium, our Mother's Day excursion, we passed the Firestone Mansion in Akron.  None of the Firestone family actually lives in Akron anymore, so it's used for public events like the Hearst Castle in California. Tires and rubber aren't made in Akron, Ohio, anymore, so those rubber and tire factories are closed.  The business is in China now.
     Upon approaching Cleveland we emerged from the tunnel of trees along the grassy highway to a view of dredging piles and factory cooling towers spewing a little smoke.  Some of the roads were all ripped up for repair, so the GPS wasn't as useful due to the detours.  After quite an unplanned tour of Cleveland neighborhoods, we happened upon the aquarium. 
     It's built within an old brick factory with a circular brick chimney. They put spiny lobsters into the chimney and had a view glass ceiling to view them.  It was cool to walk right under them. The builders of the aquarium didn't have to go far to find rusting steel beams for their larger shark aquarium.  Cleveland still has some steel factories and a plethora of abandoned factories from the exodus of our jobs to China.  I loved the enormous coral mixed with the steel beams, but was quickly corrected by my daughter that the coral was plastic and not real.  Fooled me!  The aquarium wasn't up to the grandeur of Legoland's, Sea World, or The Birch Aquarium in San Diego, but it was a cool aquarium.
    For a late lunch we went to Mel's in Lakewood and had fancy grilled cheese sandwiches. I had a fried Monte Cristo, the heart attack special.  It was insanely good and dripping in oil.  The portions are also enormous in Ohio, so I have breakfast for tomorrow. We all had to rest afterwards---we were so full. No wonder people are so obese in Ohio.

    Before we drove back to Akron we managed to stop at Lakewood Park on Lake Erie to see the prettiest view of Cleveland.  It was well worth the stop, albeit quite chilly due to the cold wind off this cold lake.  I got a wonderful picture of my daughter and her boyfriend there. :-)
   What a wonderful Mother's Day.  I'm so glad that I used some vacation days and credit card points to come visit my daughter in Akron.  It might not be as pretty as my home in Sacramento, but it has my daughter, a jewel!
    My son, though in San Francisco, gave me a great present today, as well.  He found off-campus housing.  I'd heard that it was super difficult to find and extremely expensive there, so I've quite relieved.  I hope that it's in a safe neighborhood.  I wouldn't want him living in the dangerous part of town, like my daughter recently did in Akron.  I had no idea until we toured her old neighborhood yesterday.  I'm glad that I didn't know and that she and Jon are safely living elsewhere now.   What a wonderful Mother's Day!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Fixing My Heart's Scar

    Most anyone who's a mother knows who much pain a mother's heart experiences when she's separated from her child.  Both my children are adults now, but my daughter's torrent separation from me when she left for college ripped my heart apart.  Today I flew to Ohio to see her.  We've been making baby steps to building an adult relationship over the last year.
    Last summer I took her boyfriend and her kayaking on La Jolla Cove, since her boyfriend is an avid kayaker.  That went well, and I found that my daughter was proud of her outdoor knowledge that I had instilled within her.  She confidently answered the guide's question about why the cliffs were white---because the cormorants were nesting on them and that the white was poop.  She also hopped in to the cove and swam around showing no fear of sharks or the deep blue sea which impressed her boyfriend.
    My heart wrenched with longing for her, so today I flew to Ohio to stay with her over Mother's Day.  I've never visited her in Ohio before.  I have had no frame of reference to think about her---no kitchen for her to meander about, no stoop to visualize her sitting upon, no campus to think about her walking through.  I needed to have that frame of reference.
    She couldn't pick me up at the airport, because of her new job, so her boyfriend did.  Her boyfriend and I didn't know each other well, so it was a little tense.  I figured that it must be incredibly uncomfortable for him to be alone with a "mother-in-law" figure.  Plus, I'm sure that he's heard a lot of complaints about me via my daughter. 
    Once I started asking him about kayaking, he started to be more relaxed.  Trying to fit my luggage in his 2-seater Mazda was also a conversation piece.  When we arrived to their old craftsman home, I pulled out pictures of Sara throughout her life.  That really broke the tension.  We both shared a love for Sara.  He especially adored her childhood modeling pictures and wanted to frame them. 
     When Sara arrived home from work as a clerk at a bookstore, I found that she, too, loved those old modeling pictures.  Here I always figured that I had scarred Sara by dabbling with the modeling business with her and her brother, Drew.  I guess that she actually was fond of those pictures after all.
      I noticed that Sara had lost a lot of weight and her face had lost its baby fat.  She was an independent woman, not my little girl anymore.  I couldn't believe that I have such an adult daughter---all dressed up professionally, towering over me, and in complete command of her life!
      She even insisted upon taking me out to dinner, since I had traveled all that way.  We ate at this upscale restaurant in downtown Akron.  I ordered the beef shoulder which she recommended, and it was outstanding.  The pink elephant martini, her Ohio cousin's favorite, was also quite delicious and extremely potent.  We laughed and truly enjoyed each other.  I loved watching how her boyfriend adored her, as well.
      When the check arrived, my daughter still insisted upon paying for it, because she now has her first job and can pay for my dinner!   I did take a picture of that.  That's monumental.  That's for which all parents strive---to launch their children properly, so that they can have a productive and happy life.  I've done my job. :-)

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Catching a Ride to Church with a 94-Year-Old

    Last night I remembered that my neighbor had told me about Fair Oaks Presbyterian Church, and that we could go together if I liked the church.  So I gave her a call.  She didn't remember me, so I reminded her that I had met her at our mailboxes.  It took a while to explain to her that I lived right across from her.  It took even longer to spell my last name to her---about 10 minutes.  I summoned all the patience that I had to restart and restart the spelling of my name.  It was quite a grating experience.  In the end we decided to meet at the mailboxes at 8:30 am.
    Before 8:30 am I walked outside to wait for her.  Then I saw her walk by toward the front gates of our community, so I chased after her yelling her name.  She didn't hear me.  When I caught up to her, she thought that I lived outside the gated community and was meeting her outside the gates.  During our discussion I found that she was 94 years old.  She might be losing it, but boy was she moving well at 94 years old.
    Her driver that takes her to the church arrived at 8:45 am, so I had quite a chat with my neighbor.  She said that she had always been a tomboy and kept active.  Her son was inheriting the house when she dies.  Her other son lives in Watsonville, so he doesn't care about the house.  Both her sons visit her often.  How wonderful!  She stopped driving, because she didn't want anyone to sue her and take the money that her husband had saved up to take care of her.  Her husband had also instructed her to never move, because this was a safe community for a single woman.
    Well, if this BRCA 1 gene mutation which causes my tumor suppressant system to fail doesn't take me out prematurely, I could remain active like her and live a long time.  I just don't know if I'd want to do that.  I'd have to endure a lot of friends and family dying before me.  I might have to even endure losing a love of my life, if I'm lucky enough to ever experience that.
     Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of our church driver.  I felt guilty getting a ride to church when I could drive myself, but we were heading to the same place.  I carefully opened the door for my older neighbor and made sure her seat was buckled before I closed her door.  My neighbor started chatting with the driver who she hadn't met before.  She introduced me to the driver using my first name, then asked me to spell my last name.
    Remembering the harrowing experience of spelling my last name the night before, I just said, "It's a very long, German last name and too difficult to spell."  I felt badly that I lacked any patience for her failing memory and hearing while going to church.  Fortunately, my neighbor remarked that her Dutch maiden name was also quite difficult to spell.  At least she'll forget all about me by tomorrow I'm sure!
    Upon our return from church she showed me her home.  It was smaller than mine.  She couldn't believe that I lived in such a large home by myself.  That seems to be the consensus in my community that a single woman shouldn't be living alone in a 2000 sq. ft. home.  She went as far as to try to sell me her place.  I guess that she forgot that her husband told her not to move and her son wanted it.  lol
   Once I excused myself from her home after quite a long conversation and viewing her portraits of her husband and family, I was still glad that I went to church with her.  It let me understand what my mother did when she drove older people to Fremont Presbyterian Church.  It made me appreciate my good health and healthy lifestyle.   It made me appreciate my family photos and the love of a good man.  Now I just have to find that good man.  At least I'm in no hurry, and I have plenty of room for him when I find him apparently. lol
  
P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Finally Found Some Hills to Bike in Flat Sacramento

    On Saturdays the American River Bike Trail is well used, so it's quite safe for a single woman to ride on it without too much worry about being accosted.  I still have a knuckle-mounted mace container on my hand.  When a man did ride up along that side of me, he may have noticed that, dropped back, and went the other way.  Oh, well, I guess there's no winning---I can't meet anyone on the bike trail, because I'm too busy keeping myself safe while I exercise there.
    Instead of just going around Lake Natoma, I decided to bike all the way to Folsom Lake where the hills are.  The Natoma and Folsom Lake dams were letting out an enormous amount of water.  It was quite beautiful to see so much white-water flowing voraciously over the dams and into the river below.  The river flooded the river islands and raced downward to Sacramento and ultimately, the Bay Area.
     As I was heading back another female rider took both her hands off the wheel to warn me and show me the size of the snake that I was about to encounter.  It took a few minutes for me to ride passed it, but she wasn't kidding.  I'm glad that I was speeding downhill when I passed.  I'd hate to be moving slowly uphill and not being able to clear that snake fast.
     Upon arriving back to Gold River, I stopped for a yogurt.  With every bite I listened to the foreigners speak in their language.  They must have been doing some sort of business with their tones and posturing inflections.  They looked like Arabs. There's a lot of different foreigners at the Starbucks a great deal of the time.  Interesting.  I have no idea why.
     Once my empty stomach was satisfied, I went home to stretch amongst my profusely-blooming roses.  The pain in my back started up quickly, even after stretching it.  Pulling up the hills always tweaks those middle-back muscles.  There's nothing like Advil and a Body Fit Stretch Ball to relax those muscles though.  At least I know that this single woman got her exercise today!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Boxing Deals

    My boxer had to get bad news today.  I graded his paper test that I painstakingly created just for him, since he couldn't pass the computerized test after months of tries.  If he passed my test, he could go on to the second module.  If he got less than 70%, he'd violate his new contract and be in danger of getting kicked out.  He got a 50%, but I advocated for him with the other math teacher.  I told her that I'd have him do Module 1 over.  That's 22 tests.  It's better than kicking him out for lack of progress.
     He took the news surprisingly well when I handed him a new Module 1 sheet with asterisks on the tests that he had to retake based upon his performance.  After class he informed me that he couldn't take the old master tests, because they were locked.  A student only gets two tries on master tests unless a teacher deletes old tests. 
     So I went into the old master tests and deleted his worst of his former tests for each lesson.  I was shocked that the teacher that I'd replaced had cut multiple deals with this student.  His old Module 1 testing sheet and the computer scores told me the whole story.  He wasn't able to get 80% or above on numerous lessons, so she gave him a paper test that was easier.  She didn't do him any favors.  He wasn't ready to be moved on.  He was passed forward to failure which is exactly how most of these SIATech students got here.
     Now I've learned how to be a better teacher.  Tough love means that I have to make my students do their work, no matter how my heart breaks for them.  They have to be ready to move on, or they'll be stuck in a stupor of failure, give up, and be on the street again. 
     Fortunately, my boxer is understanding my life lessons about being a famous athlete.  I informed him that you only make money when you're young and then you need a job.  He told me that he'd buy a boxing gym for his second job.
     I remember when he told me that I spurted, "Boy, did you just tell the wrong person that you're going to buy a gym to support yourself!  I lost 1.2 million dollars owning a gym.  They're a money pit, especially if you can't do math.  Your business manager will still from you and you won't even know it."
      Later he said that his grandpa would manage his money, so I was still concerned that my boxer might drop out of high school for boxing.  Today though he mentioned that with his sponsor he'd make $5000/month.  I explained that that would not support a family, and you've got to have two ways to make money, in case you lose one of your jobs. 
     Then he added, "$5000/month won't even support my grocery bill," and we laughed.  He's starting to understand the math after all!   As he was leaving he told the other teacher and me, "I love you guys!" :-)
    
P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Starting the Robotics Club

    My co-teacher asked me, "Do you have a lot of students attending your robotics club meetings today?"
    "No.  I'm just hoping for some former robotics team members to arrive, so that they can show me what they used to do.  Then I can build the program from there.  Otherwise, I'd be stuck in 'Paralysis by Analysis,' and I'd never get the group going."
     No one did show up for the meeting, but I found all the Vex robotic components after a half hour.  Finding the manuals that I read about on the Vex website was my main objective anyway.  I needed to understand the capabilities of these basic robots.  The robots that I redesigned often were shuttling expensive silicon wafers to particulate-free semiconductor reactors.  So they were very capable.
    While watching videos of the competitions and reading the manuals, I realized what fun this was going to be for me.  They want me to build this robotics program to be competitive with the San Jose and Albuquerque SIATechs, but I might not limit myself to that.  I might eventually take my club to national competitions with regular high schools.  Oh, how fun would that be to have the kids with absolutely nothing being noteworthy in a national competition?  They could get collegiate scholarships!
    My competitive tiger became poised to leap out of me.  That's how I compete---leaping.  I leap away from the competition, but not just away.  I leap a whole new level ahead when I feel like it.  My mind doesn't think like a normal person, so I'll just teach the kids to build robots that no one has built before with the Vex materials at hand.  What fun!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Dealing With the Loss of a Student

     My students get ripped away from me without a chance of saying, Good-bye."  The last student that I liked had his jacket picked up from my class by a Job Corps staff member.  Apparently, the student got into a brawl during his free time.  He was almost finished with his third module of math, the last one before graduating from math.  I'm so sad for his loss of opportunity, but we must have consequences for improper behavior.
     Since my nephew couldn't go kayaking with me after work, I decided to just chill at home and try to regroup emotionally.  After having some leftover homemade Katsu Don for dinner, I had my grand piano play Barbra Streisand songs, so I could sing my heart out and unpack my china and crystal.  Barbra songs always bring out deep emotions within me and the much needed tears.
     My tears were replaced by smiles as I unpacked my china and crystal from severely deformed boxes that had been in storage since 2010.  My childhood Campbell soup bowl with my name on it was surprisingly in those boxes.  My Hungarian housekeeper, Beulah, had given me that when I was a little girl.  I thought that I had accidentally left it in the garden shed at my former home.  I happened upon my mother's Spanish piano throw which is just what my piano needed.  My kids and my engraved silver spoons, sipper cup, and rattle brought back fond memories.  Amazingly, only one salad plate of my Mikasa china was broken.  My unorthodox packing with comforters, linens, paper towels, and pillows worked!
     It was wonderful to be reunited with my beautiful mementos, linens, and Mikasa china from the 1980's.  It matches perfectly with this new condo with the delicate pink and blue scrolling flowers with gold leafing.  I'll have to have some of the older ladies over for a tea party or schmooze Dan Lungren and his wife to try to understand why our government isn't productively working for us anymore.  When I get the robotics club up and running, I'm definitely inviting Dan Lungren to come visit SIATech to make sure that our funding keeps coming from the federal government.  Too funny:  I could use my china or robots for lures---such a dichotomy!
     Well, I'm emotionally regrouped for tomorrow.  I will just have to pray that my students make better decisions, so the road to a productive life is easier for them.  I can't give them a good life.  I can only guide them with my lessons.  They have to chose to do the work and have the self control.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!