Sunday, August 12, 2012

Summiting Mt. Shasta

     A few climbers and I carpooled to the trail head, Sand Flat at 6800 ft., that was at the end of the road that passed the Fifth Season Shop where we got our rental climbing gear.  I felt overwhelmed by nervousness.  Why did I chose to climb a mountain that could kill me for a vacation?  Was I too old and injured to be climbing mountains?  Why didn't I chose an easier mountain than Mt. Shasta for my first high altitude climb, since climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro eight years ago?

     This mountain turns back 2 out of 3 climbers before they reach the summit.  It was no easy walk up into high altitudes.  This was a technical mountain with its own weather systems which were very unpredictable.  Would my old, snow-camping equipment from the late 1970's hold up still?  Did I train hard enough?  Would I be the slowest?  Would I be left behind, because I am the slowest?
     At the trail head a chipmunk running behind our guide eased my tension. 
    "Oh, a chipmunk!"  I hadn't seen one in years.  My guides thought my excitement strange and gave me a credulous look at my seemingly misplaced enthusiasm.
     We gathered our group gear and loaded our bursting backpacks and started our climb.  My first challenge was climbing over a fallen tree with a 45 pound backpack (over a third of my weight).  The trunk was about 2.5 feet in diameter and it had tight-knit branches, so I had some hand holds with the branches at least.
    When we found our first snow patch we stopped to get to know each other.  We introduced ourselves by saying our name, where we're from, our past climbing experience, and who sang at our last live rock concert.  I couldn't remember Tom Petty's name at the time, so I just mentioned the Van Halen concert that I'd attended.
    With each step I started to feel a hot spot on one of my feet.  I knew that I was going to have to stop and put on some mole skin with a hole cut over the area rubbed.  The guides mentioned that they now use duct tape and superglue for hot spots and blisters.  Flashbacks from the 1980's of reading Material Safety Data Sheets to my assemblers about cyanoacrylics (the first Superglue's) being carcinogenic came to mind, so even if superglue was safe now, I'd stick with my tried and true method of dealing with areas being rubbed.  I was relieved that I only had one hot spot while using rental boots that I didn't get to break in personally.
    Soon another young buck had a hot spot and needed to stop, so I seized the opportunity and put the moleskin in place at the joint by my little toe.  Amazingly, that was the only hot spot that I ever got and that moleskin stayed in place for three days.  It came off on its own when I got off the mountain and put on my street shoes.  The old ways do work, too.
    Once we got our socks back on without any wrinkles and carefully tied our boots, we all started hiking to Horse Camp at 7900 ft.  The lodge was surrounded with snow.  I was relieved.  My camp shoes were my down booties inside of waterproof snow booties.  I hate getting dirt on my snow booties when I'm walking around at night to commune with nature---water a tree.

    At camp one of my guides taught me how to make snow anchors.  You find a stick and wrap the tent cords around it.  Then you dig a hole about 6-12 inches deep and bury the stick.  Over the night the snow freezes the anchor, so the tent is well secured.
    Our guides also gave us a quick lesson about walking with an ice axe while being roped together.  Our young guide was busy showing us the French cross stepping method and other fancy methods.  I tried them, but I told the other guide that I probably won't be doing those steps when the time comes.  Since I have wider hips that once had trochanteric bursitis from running with my feet too close together, I maintain my great hip health by walking and (formerly running) with my feet directly below my hips.  Crossing over the center line of my stance was a huge "No, no," for me.  Adding a 45 pound backpack was only going to accelerate a hip injury, too.
    After our lesson our guides made us some potato soup and tortilla wraps.  We had a lot of vegetarians in my group, so I did have to go over to the young buck group and get some chicken for my wrap from their guide.  That wasn't a problem, because they had a vegetarian in their group who needed to go over to get food from my guides.
    Sleeping on the ground for the first time in 8 years wasn't too comfortable, even though snow is more comfortable than dirt. My face was also freezing though I tightened the opening to my down bag to a small hole.  Then as usual I had to go commune with nature during the middle of the night.  I was thankful to have my snow booties that just slipped onto my feet.  My pajama-party, tent mate also had to go, so I led the way.  When I turned off my Snow Miners Headlamp, the incredible stars burst into view.  I just stared at the Milky Way that I'd never seen in California before.  What a treat!
    Without thinking that there were no mechanical noises to drown my voice, I announced to my tent mate, "Make sure to turn your headlamp off and look at the stars.  They're awesome!"  Of course, the tents all around me heard.  At least some of the other climbers took the opportunity to see those beautiful stars at night on Mt. Shasta.
    Early in the morning our guides woke us up and told us that the hot water for coffee, tea, and oatmeal was ready.  We quickly got dressed and headed to the cooking area to pile down calories and caffeine for our climb through the snow with heavy backpacks.  I even added some granola to my oatmeal.  These calories were for tomorrow.  I knew what tomorrow would bring---a long summit day---over 12 hours of hiking and perhaps a nap at high camp after summiting.  Remembering the fatigue after summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro gave me trepidation about tomorrow.
    A fabulous thing about Horse Camp, besides the stars and snow, is that there is a Potty Hut for bowel movements.  Any other movements required communing with nature.  Unfortunately, the high altitude was doing what it tends to do---causing constipation, so I hoped that I'd be that way the whole climb.  Otherwise, I had to carry out a bowel movement in kitty litter.  Yuck!!!  I've never had to do that before.  We used to just bury it.  Some old ways I couldn't hold onto.  There were too many people climbing in the California mountains anymore, so burying bowel movements would ruin the mountain.
    With tents down, gear packed, and crampons on, we lined up and started our second day of climbing.  We didn't have many miles to go to reach Lake Helen at 10,400 ft.  We had a lot of elevation change, 2500 ft, while hiking through snow and carrying heavy backpacks.  We only took a break every hour to power down snacks and drink water, so we just stepped in the footprint above us and slowly ascended to Lake Helen, which was just a dry lake covered with snow.
    As the morning hours churned on, my bouncing water bottle that was poorly secured on my new backpack was really bothering me.  It kept hitting the bruise on my upper arm from putting on my heavy backpack.  So I stopped for help and waited for our second guide who was far behind us and was with the slowest climber in our group, my tent mate.  Once my guide secured the water bottle, I continued onward.
    I could still see the faster members of my group, so I set out climbing alone between my guides.  Sometimes the guide with a couple of the struggling young bucks would be near me and encourage me to keep going.  Trust me, I needed that encouragement.  Apparently, the grade right below Lake Helen is 28%.  Considering the load on my back, this section was grueling and took many of my internal encouragement coping mechanisms to keep myself moving.  "It's just a little farther.  I can see the others up on the ridge.  I can do this!  Pole, pole!"
    Finally, I reached the top of the ridge of Lake Helen, exhausted and ready to lay my backpack down where ever I could.  Before I did, our guide mentioned that we needed to dig out a place for our tents.  The faster climbers in my group had mercy on me.  They let me have the site that was already dug out, because my tent mate was not going to be much help.  She was not going to arrive for quite some time.  She was just starting the 28% grade.
    With great relief, I took my backpack off where my tent opening would be, leveled the dug out area with my boots, and pulled the tent out of my pack. 

I didn't have the poles, but I did bring some sticks up from Horse Camp to use for anchors.  So I anchored down the tent and used the outdoor bathroom that one of the guides had built.  He made a big snow wall with a bench to place our paper target should we have to use our bowel movement packet with kitty liter.


     When my tent mate finally arrived, I told her to just relax.  "I'll put the tent up."   I got the poles from her pack, set it up, and got my sleeping bag out and airing on my new female Thermorest.  My closed cell foam pad from the 1970's which I use for extra insulation and comfort was being requested for the top of the snow bench in the snow kitchen which our guides made.  I guess some older mountaineering items are precious. 

     Before dinner we had a quick lesson about ice arrests.

     We ate the rehydrated mountain grub which started to look the same even though it was a different selection.  It didn't matter.  We weren't here to eat delicious food.  We were here to get enough calories to climb this mountain.
     After dinner I carefully packed my backpack with only essentials.  I put my snacks in the pockets of my down coat, so during our 20 minute breaks, I can maximize resting my legs.  I also fitted my GoPro and Snow Miners Headlamp onto my helmet.
     Our wake up call would be 2am, so we went to bed at 7pm.  I wore my hat with a face mask to bed to keep my face warm and block the light of the day by pulling it over my eyes.  Even though my tent mate was stirring, I fell fast asleep.  My body didn't even mind sleeping on the snow that night.
     The wake up call came right on time.  Fortunately, I felt rested for only having 5 hours of sleep.  We quickly got dressed; communed with nature; put our harnesses, crampons, and helmets with headlamps on; and got in line.
     After we walked across the lake, our guides roped us up in groups of 5 including the guide.  Then we continued our journey up the 35% grade as one in a rhythm with our ice axes and steps, "Plunge, step, step, plunge, step, step...."  Our rhythm was only interrupted by our rest every hour for 20 minutes exactly.
     "Stomp out your positions.  Secure your packs.  Eat," our guides instructed.  We'd put our ice axes through one shoulder strap to secure our packs on the steep grade, get our jackets loaded with food on, and sit and rest.  Some rests I started resting with my knees in the snow.  I was having some knee pain that I'd been experiencing from double stepping stairs for months.  I'd rested the injury away, but it came back.  My knees must be in an improper position when I'm climbing. 
     When we were below "The Heart" some climbers above us let some rocks loose.  "Rock!"  We dived down and buried our heads.  "That's why we start so early, so there's fewer people above us," our guide explained.
     Eventually, the lines of light zig zagging up the mountain were replaced by dark figures on the white snow as the sun rose.  Mt. Shasta's shadow made a dark pyramid in the west.  I was a little sad that I didn't get to watch the sunrise in a higher location like I did on Mt. Kilimanjaro.  Watching the sun rise over Africa was amazing from the crater rim.  I was still on the west face of Avalanche Gulch for this sunrise, though.

     It took about another hour to reach the ridge line at Red Banks at about 12,820 ft.  What a beautiful view!  Our guide then called our attention to the crevasse from the Konwakiton Glacier that we needed to carefully step over.  "Follow my steps exactly," he instructed.  With the threat of falling into oblivion, we sure did!
    Misery Hill soon presented itself before us. 

It's a 1000 feet of exposed climbing.  The winds buffeted us, and it was a good day per the guides.  The other woman that was as little as I am was blown around just like I was.  We braced ourselves so hard against the southern wind that when it let up, we lurched to the south all together.

    The glory of completing Misery Hill is that the top of Mt. Shasta at 14179 ft. finally reveals itself.  It stands only a few hundred feet above the relatively flat plain. 

     However, the ease of crossing the beautiful snowy plain is quickly replaced by the horror that the air is sulfur-fume-filled.  Here we had so little air to breathe and then it's filled with sulfur which made me nauseous.  Mt. Shasta is an active volcano with fumerals after all.  At least my Diamox kept me from getting altitude sickness.
     Our guide had removed the rope from our harnesses, so we could summit on our own.  As I crossed the plain, I pushed through my nausea and kept walking.  Someone coming down from the summit apparently had talked to me while I was focusing through my fatigue and pain to keep on climbing, so my guide, a former professional mountain biker, who was behind me taking care of my tent mate came running up to me, "Are you OK?  You didn't respond to another climber when he talked to you?" 
      I was confused about how "OK" I should be after hiking 4000ft for 6 hours at high altitude while inhaling sulfur fumes, but instinctively responded, "Oh, I'm a little hard of hearing at my age.  I'm fine."  I honestly had no idea that someone had talked to me.  Even if I was delirious from fatigue and knee pain, the summit was right smack in front of me, and I was going to get that summit---deliria or no deliria.

     Marching on alone I plodded my way slowly to the summit.  My Indian friends in my group took pictures of me at the top waving to my mom in Heaven like I always do when I summit a mountain.

Then I remembered it was Father's Day, so I took my malfunctioning GoPro off my helmet and took a few 3 second videos wishing Dad "Happy Father's Day!" from the top of Mt. Shasta.  Fortunately, the GoPro worked long enough at that altitude and low temperatures to convey my message.

      Once my tent mate arrived and rested, we all headed down to the top of Misery Hill.

Remembering that I had to commune with nature I had my guide show me a safe place to relieve myself.  He knew of a secluded spot that was shielded from the wind, but said, "Follow me exactly and don't step three feet over there.  That's a glacier with a crevasse."  Here I had been the one telling everyone about the lady in Alaska that fell into a glaciel mulan never to be found again while trying to have some privacy while relieving herself.  I was a bit unnerved by my similar situation.  Fortunately, my fate was to be seen again.
      After rejoining my group of five climbers we descended rapidly to Red Banks while watching skiers having fun on Misery Hill.  My Indian friends that were happily married climbers in love gave each other a kiss.

    Our guide put on Hawaiin swim trunks to protect his waterproof pants from friction wear while glissading.  Then the epic 2430 vertical feet butt skiing, I mean glissading began! 
      Our guide quickly discerned that I'd been butt skiing since I was in grade school, so he let me go on ahead while he lead the rest of our crew who were new at it.  My group said that I was out of sight within 5 minutes which was hard to do since we could see Lake Helen.  Some climbers that were playing in the bobsled-like trench that was being created by all the descending climbers glissading in the same groove saw me coming down fast with an avalanche of snow flowing right infront of me.  They quickly got out of the groove/trench and let me pass.  How cool was that? 
      When I made it to the end of the trench at Lake Helen, I was a bit lost.  I couldn't see our tents.  Remembering to always get high to get your bearings, I walked up a little ridge and looked over.  Our tents were right below and there was another glissading groove leading to them! "Epic butt skiing day!" I thought to myself with a big grin.  I only wished that my GoPro was working well enough to record it.  (It apparently had started to work properly again at 12,830 ft.  I just didn't know that.)
      Unfortunately, my grin was wiped away upon arriving to camp.  The other guide informed me that there was no time for me to rest before we descended to the cars.  What?  I'd been hiking since 2:30 am, summitted Mt. Shasta and returned before lunch and couldn't lay down to rest my weary, aching body!  I hadn't planned on no rest at Lake Helen.  I got to rest at Kibo Hut for an hour or two after summitting Mt. Kilimanjaro.  I was downright angry!
      "Clear your personal belongings out of the tent and the others will take your tent down," she said noticing that I was ready to explode in anger.
      "We will still have my tentmate's things in the tent.  I can't lie down for a minute?" I grumbled angrily.
      "We're all tired," another climber from the fast group uttered with no mercy, since he was as exhausted as me and had to help take my tent down.  I felt so unnurtured and missed my Kilimanjaro guides so much.  They would have let me rest for at least a half hour.
       Begrudgingly, I packed my sleeping bag, clothes, and foam pads into my once light backpack.  It looked like it was bursting, since I was too tired to properly organized my gear.  I just jammed it all in.  Then I waited for the other four from my slower climbing group, while icing my knees in the snow and eating a Luna bar and dried mangos.
       Finally, the other climbers arrived, and we packed up and headed down to Horse Camp.  My Indian friends and I got off the main trail to Horse Camp, but we eventually got to it.  They hadn't had much experience with snow---India doesn't have much snow, so I taught them about the dangers of getting too close to boulders as we approached many large boulders just melting through the snow.  A climber can slip between the boulder and snow pack.  It can be like falling into a crevasse, if you're terribly unlucky.
       We rested at Horse Camp, and I used the last blanket of snow to make an ice pack for my knee that was screaming in pain.  Once my tent mate appeared and got a snack and some water, we headed to the cars.  We finally got to my truck at 5:30 pm.  Apparently, I didn't have time for a nap.
      We had hiked 15 hours on summit day!  100% of the 16 climbers in our group made it to the summit on a mountain where only 1/3 of the attempts are successful.  Our Shasta Mountain Guides that REI had hired had fiercely scheduled us for success.  They pushed us hard and made us uncomfortable, but made our dream of summitting Mt. Shasta come true.
       Even though we were exhausted, we were insatiably hungry and had to find a restaurant after we returned our rentals in the drop box at the Fifth Season.  Fortunately, Shasta City is used to dirty, tired climbers walking in to restaurants.  We did change our clothes, but we did just return after three days of not showering and the shower had a lower priority to our hunger issue.
      My vegetarian climbing friends were used to me eating meat by then, so I got a steak, potato, and beer, even though I normally drink Cabernet.  My body just wanted a beer!
     After dinner I gave all my new friends a copy of my memoir, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro."  They were ready to climb that mountain now and may want some training tips and a better understanding of what to expect when climbing that mountain.   As all mountain climbers know, once one mountain has been checked off the summitting list, another mountain needing to be climbed is right below it.  Mountain climbing is highly addictive.
    

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!
    
 

   
 

Monday, July 2, 2012

Yona and My Song

     Yona blesses me with so much love.  Here is our beautiful song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYNCnLTnzys

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Forbidden Kisses


Forbidden Kisses

Gliding over the rippling lake

Two kayakers embarked on separate paths:

 One seeking that which was lost,

One exploring to find something new.



With each paddle stroke

The kayakers arrived together

Their voices danced upon the water

Discovering the steps of the other.



Their worlds were not one,

An orthodox Jew and Christ follower.

Two who loved the same God differently,

But were strongly drawn together.



Deeply they wanted to bridge

This religious chasm of the ages

And discussed their differences

And reveled in their similarities.



Then the explorer had to climb

A daunting mountain that called to her

And the other gave her a gift of love:

A forbidden kiss in his world.



While climbing the mountain

She shared her story about this kiss,

And God sent her favorite bird

To the one she now adored.



Entering his world for the first time

The Black Phoebe beckoned his gaze

This lost realm of God was revealed

And his heart was open to it and her.



When she returned the two were one

Upon the glistening, rippling lake

And amongst the singing birds

Sharing more forbidden kisses.



After each kiss the world was silent,

It veiled these lovers with awesome stillness

For God had brought together

These two to become one.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!


Monday, June 25, 2012

Preparing to Climb Mt. Shasta

    Strangely enough, I could not find an REI climbing trip up Mt. Whitney, the highest California mountain that has been the only mountain that I could not summit.  So I booked a trip to climb Mt. Shasta instead.  My parents and former high school mountaineering instructor had told me stories of climbing Mt. Shasta scores of years ago.  This mountain intrigued me, but never really beckoned to me like Mt. Whitney.  Now it was this mountain's turn to try to turn me back with its fiercely high altitudes, unique weather systems, and snowy glaciers.
    Training was a challenge.  I have arthritis in the arch of my foot now.  I didn't have that when I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro.  Running 3 and 6 miles each week was out of the question, so I racked my brain to figure out how to get weight onto my legs and my heart rate to run high for prolonged periods.  Rollerblading was my solution.
     Rollerblading is low impact as long as there aren't any falls.  The new brake system of the rollerblades versus rollerskates doesn't make sense to me.  When I started rollerblading, I'd just run into nearby grass to stop.  Later I developed grabbing the poles with the buttons to cross the street to stop while I waited for my turn to cross.  I actually only had one bad spill, but I softened my fall by grabbing the sign with the neighborhood's walking trail map on it.  The sign left a bruise on my forearm, but I didn't get hurt otherwise.
     So I raced down the long, flat roads of Gold River, CA building up to 8 miles an hour for an hour a few times a week.  The plastic boot of the rollerblade held my arthritic foot solidly in place like a cast, so I wasn't restricted by my foot.  The lateral movements to propel myself built up my hip muscles which I'd need for stabilizing a 45 pound backpack in uneven and windy terrain.  The only issue my body had with that training was a little knee pain in one knee.
    Other ways I'd train was biking 22 miles along the American River bike trail to Lake Folsom and back.  It had hills, lots of people, beautiful scenery, and no cars.  Any stairs that I climbed I double stepped to build my climbing muscles.  I packed my new backpack a few weeks early and added a few heavy books as my back and hips became accustomed to carrying weight while I hiked.
     Unfortunately, my summer hiking boots weren't supportive enough for my arthritic foot, so I'd have to massage my foot with Aspercreme afterwards.  Each time that I'd  hike 7 miles with my backpack, however, my foot hurt more.  My hopes of climbing any mountain again started to fade, but I remembered the stiff plastic boots that I used for ice climbing in Alaska and hoped that the rental double plastic boots would freeze my foot inplace like a cast, too.  Then my arthritic foot would be out of the equation.  Fortunately, the rental double plastic boots with crampons were like casts.  My foot never was an issue during my mountain experience.

     Mountains have a way of giving us a hard reset, so we can understand ourselves better and what's important in this world.  If we're listening, we might even hear God during the silence of mechanisms while we journey to the summit.  Climbing high mountains is a tried and true path to inner revelation.
     Climbing mountains also is a mental challenge.  Can we keep our thoughts focused on the summit and away from the hours and hours of toil, effort, pain, and nagging fatigue?  Can we overcome the voice that tells us to give up---that this is a ludicrous act?
     Trepidation filled me as I packed my backpack over again in the Cold Creek Inn hotel room the night before.  Would I be able to find everything in a new backpack when I needed it?  Would I be the slowest climber?  Would I be left behind during the summit attempt?  Would I get altitude sickness?  Would my body let me down?
     The Diamox that I took three times a day for a few days before my climb kept making my throat almost swell shut.  It also made soda taste awful!  I hoped that the swelling throat side effect would stop once I got on the mountain.  Fortunately, it did.  Other climbers told me that Diamox makes all carbonated drinks taste awful, so that reassured me that my body was reacting normally to this altitude sickness drug.
     When the morning arrived where we met our climbing group, I was still filled with trepidation.  I coached myself, "It's the journey that's important.  It's better to try and fail, then to never have tried at all."  Then I walked out to the group of highly fit people---mostly men and four women.
      Our guides had us empty out our backpacks in the Cold Creek Inn parking lot.  I knew that good guides would do this.  They were responsible for our well being and our success.  They needed to rid us of useless weight and make sure that we had appropriate gear for snow camping and high altitude exposures.  Amazingly enough, they took out a pile of my clothing.  I was thrilled at losing more weight. 
      Backpack weight reduction was a major priority to me.  I'd tried desperately to reduce the backpack's weight on my own, knowing that I had to keep it at or under a third of my body weight---43 pounds.  My 49-year-old body just couldn't handle more than that anymore.  I even purchased airline plastic containers and only took two days of toiletries.  Neutrogena had facial wipes for cleaning my face at night and in the morning, and I used panty liners to keep my underwear clean. 
      Food weight was a huge concern, too.  I studied all the sports bars and picked the ones with the most nutrition and calories, and least weight.  Cliff, Luna, and Power bars were the winners.  Eating tasty food wasn't the plan.  Eating calories constantly to make it to the summit was the plan.  I did have dried mangos and Lindt and Hersheys chocolate bars which were my small bit of tasty heaven for three days.
     After we repacked our backpacks, our four guides split us up into two groups of 8.  All the women and men older than 30 were in our group.  The manly, young bucks were in the other group.  That worked for all of us.  Going at a pace that's too fast leads to defeat.  Mt. Shasta requires us to know how to be at our best to be able to reach her summit, especially when raw, youthful health has long passed us by.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

My Adam

     The river of life is so unpredictable, but it flows to God's kismet.  Along the way are so many forks, so many eddies, so many rapids, so many revelations, so many tears, so much beauty, so much love.  As I paddle along, replacing an occassional paddle for my loved ones, I find at times that I am left to journey unaided by my Adam---my partner in life.
     Returning from the ICU in San Diego, I realized that I needed my Adam, but I had none.  I cried out to God with the tears that had not stopped from almost losing my son, "Where is my Adam?  Where is my Adam?"
     Long ago I decided that if I should ever have to kayak alone again that I would just do that which I love to do and be whom God intended me to be.  Only then would I find my true Adam, who will find me.  In my dreams he has always happens upon me.
    Mercifully, I have been found by my Adam while paddling alone on May 30th.  In the distance I saw him and kept my distance and carefully watched.  Lake Natoma's waters were high, so I kept an small island between us while I studied him.  He paddled parallel, but about 50 yards infront of me.  To me he was just another kayaker to study until I saw him stop and stretch his arm.  Was he waiting for me to catch up?  How sly!
    Angling my kayak to narrow the distance between us, I continued my normal rhythm while continuing my study of this man.  His appearance was not pompous, not threatening, but gentle and endearing.  I felt safe, so I allowed myself to be near enough for him to talk to me, and he did in an Israeli accent.
    We paddled closely together for over an hour.  He showed me his route that he always likes to take. He was like me, someone who likes patterns.  He was like me, a person who makes friends with strangers.  He was like me, an intellectual.  He was like me, a lover of music. 
     After awhile I explained to him, "I can take care of myself for the rest of my life, but I'd rather share my life with someone."
     He quickly responded, "I was meant to have a partner, as well."
     As we parted, he asked me for my e-mail address, and he told me his.  I never needed to remember his, even though I did.  His e-mail awaited me, "Hi, was a pleasure meeting you, even the setting was beautiful :-)."  Then he added video links of the concerts that he gives at his home.
     While watching the videos, I saw his eyes for the first time.  We both had worn sunglasses and hats, so we really didn't know each other's face.  During the video he said, "Hello!" to his mother in Israel while introducing the Asian Indian band in his music room.  How adorable!  He is a man who loves his mother! 
      A few days later we decided to meet at the walking bridge at Sunrise to ride our bicycles together along the American River bike trail.  We waited for each other at different bridges.  Fortunately, I texted him that I was at the bridge, and he soon joined me at the Fair Oaks Bridge, my version of the Sunrise walking bridge. 
      He remarked when he saw, "This is like the movie where two lovers waited for each other at the wrong bridge!"  Then he added that he was glad that I was little.  He didn't know how tall that I was, since we were sitting in kayaks.  He's only 5'-7".
      Then we set off for Lake Folsom.  Upon reaching the lake he brought me over to some shaded boulders where we could talk more.  We didn't look at the lake much, because it was the first time that we saw each other's eyes---when we took our sunglasses off.
      His brown eyes showed me his gentle soul---a soul that loved God.  Could this be my Adam?
      Two days later he texted me, "Good morning.  I will attempt to watch the Venus Transit around 5pm, would you care to join me?  next one is in 2117...so weigh your answer carefully. :-)"
      Of course I met him to watch this once in a lifetime celestial event.  He was so happy to see me and led me to a bench in Jan Park, a natural park surrounded by homes that were hidden.  My Israeli friend explained that he had helped organize the neighborhood to buy this park and build it. The more that I learned about this man, the more that I adore him.  Then he handed me dark glasses to wear, so that I could look straight into the sun and see Venus moving slowly acrossed it.  It looked like a dark spot. 
     When we said our "Goodbyes" after walking around the park, he gave me a large piece of agate formed from petrified wood.  It was extraordinary in tan colors, flow, smoothness, and sharpness.  He had found it while doing a geological study of a development.  This stone was such a precious gift, because he gave me what he loved---stones!  He added, "We've met on the water and the land, and now we've gazed up to the heavens together.  When someone asks us where we were during the Venus Transit, we have this story." 
      Later he sent me this video of the park.  He choreographed pictures of the beautiful oak trees, fields, and wild flowers to clasical piano music---all that I love!  Tears came to my eyes.  I was so happy to have found my Adam.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZap6f7KW6g

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!
   

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Sometimes Doing What God Asks Is Beyond Difficult!

     When my son, Drew, was in the ICU in a medicated coma with two bruised lungs from his car accident, I asked God while resting my head on my pillow on my son's hospital bed, "What can I do for you to heal my son?" 
      His answer was not what I wanted to hear.  "You must apologize to your ex-husband for leaving him with nothing."
      "I don't know what to say?  How can I possibly find that apology within me when I don't feel that I did anything wrong?  You told me not to intervene and give him the $10,000 when we left each other."
      Then His words filled me.  I wrestled with them as I calmly rested my head.  Oh, I didn't want to lift my head and tell Parker what I had to tell him, but I had to do so to save my son.  I slowly raised my head and looked at my ex-husband, Parker, with his new wife in his lap being cute newly weds while fretting about Drew's condition.
      My mouth opened and the words flowed out effortlessly, "Parker, I'm sorry that I was the instrument that God used to bring you to the bottom.  You've become a better person because of that though, and you have a wife that can meet your needs that I could never meet.  I'm happy for you."
      Parker responded immediately, "Wow, that must have been really hard for you to say."
      That was an understatement!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Wake Up Calls

     When I feel distant from God, he always makes sure to give me a wake up call to completely rely upon him again.  I guess that I've been spending so much time focusing on building "My" new life, I forgot that this is really "God's" new life for me.  Being forgetful about who gave me a second chance at life is never good.
      First, my cousin, Andy, got a third round of nonHodgkins Type B lymphoma and will be getting stem cell replacement.  Hopefully, that will cure him permanently from this continual struggle with lymphoma.  Then while I was getting my blood drawn for my new doctor in Sacramento, I got a call from my ex-husband that my son was in the ICU at Scripts La Jolla and was being incubated.
      One thing that I've learned is the power of massive healing prayer from many.  So I joined the prayer warriors for my cousin and enlisted my prayer warriors from Facebook and all the churches at which I formerly worshipped in San Diego to pray for my son to heal quickly.  Then I flew to be by my son's side to hold his hand and pray for him right next to him.
      Miraculously, my son survived a terrible roll over accident that shut down I-5 near Camp Pendleton.  Miraculously, he had no broken bones or stitches.  Miraculously, God's angels protected him.  (I pray that God surround my children with angels for protection every night btw.)  Miraculously, he is healing quickly from two bruised lungs and a small brain bleed.  Miraculously, he should be able to be back to normal in a week.
      Thank you God!  I love you God!  Glory to you God forever and ever!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak

    A voice within me was insistent upon visiting my daughter, though she did not want me to visit.  We have been estranged for three years, and I didn't understand why.  I had taken her on many adventures and did all the things that my parents did for me, but I didn't empathize with her when she was sad.  I thought that I had, but that's the funny thing about Aspergers---Aspies had no clue how they're being received by others.
    As I packed for my trip filled with anxiety about the difficult emotions that were going to be wrestled, I realized that I should bring a book with me for the plane and when my daughter has to work.  I grabbed a book in my cue to read, "The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak.  Apparently, God knew which book I was going to need for this trip.  It was perfect!
    "The RoadMap Home, Your GPS to Inner Peace" gave me peace on the plane.  I'd moved around the most important circle of petals in his book---Adaptation, Becoming an Orphan, Wake-up Calls and Signposts, Staying Awake, Healing Wounds and Breaking Free, and Heartfelt Connection.  I was in the Healing Wounds and Breaking Free petal of the Leonard's flower.  I'd broken free and started a new life in Sacramento, but my wounds from my broken relationship with my daughter and inability to connect with a romantic interest weighed on me.
     Leonard's book helped me hold on to my True Self while lovingly discussing difficult, heart-wrenching issues with my daughter.  His book helped me love my Aspergers self which caused the rifts in my life.  I was able to openly say as a mother, "I don't understand you.  I understood you brother better, but now I don't understand him either.  You were my little porcupine, because I could never get passed your long needles to figure out what was going on with you."  I would have denied my Aspergers self and that I lacked understanding before I read the book.  I would have tried to camouflage my Aspergers as I was trained to do by my mother.
    Using the Guiding Power of Spirit (GPS), I was able to stay listening with love while my daughter listed all the horrible things that I said to her when I was trying to mimic empathy and comfort her.  My GPS helped me not hate myself for being such a cretin and having so little control or filtering over my comments.  The last thing that I ever wanted to do was hurt my daughter.
    We even got to the subject that I should have never stopped being an engineer.  I should have never tried to be a stay-at-home mom.  My daughter was so damaged by my comments that she wasn't able to love herself.  I cried for her.  I inflicted upon her deep emotional wounds within her without even trying.  My daughter was completely miserable, because of me.
    After intently listening and following her directions about not trying to be empathetic with her again, but just holding her while she cried and listening to her, I started to do that.  We made a lot of progress.  We worked through a lot of scars.  I just have to give her space now for her to process our discussions, for her to take my Asperger test results to a psychologist for proper help for her, and for her to read "The RoadMap Home" by Leonard Szymczak, too. 
     God wanted me to grab that book for the plane.  He wanted me to use Leonard's tools to start a healing within my daughter.  He wanted me to finish the book while my daughter needed her space to regroup after our emotional discussions.  God's Guiding Power of Spirit wanted me to give this book to my daughter, so that she could start the process of finding inner peace.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Making Peace With My Daughter and My Aspergers

     Having Aspergers means that I can misinterpret a great time that I had with someone else fairly easily.  Unfortunately, my visit to Ohio was causing my daughter great pain.  She saw me and remembered how she never had the mother that she wanted.  She had a mother with Aspergers who didn't understand her and just got frustrated with and yelled at her.
     We would have some enormous screaming fights.  I would say things that I were logical, but were harsh and painful to hear for a little girl.  I'd call her my porcupine, because I could never penetrate her needles to figure out what she needed.  Though I took her on adventure after adventure, chauffeured her where ever she needed to go, and taught her how to be a mountain girl, I failed miserably as a mother due to my inability to empathize when she was sad. 
    Oh, I tried to empathize.  If she had a problem, I'd tell her about a similar problem that I had to make her feel better.  Unfortunately, my problem would be something totally horrible and compound her sorrow and overwhelm her.  Poor thing. 
    At least now we've had a difficult discussion for two days about forgiveness, love, and boundaries.  I know without any doubts what I've done to deserve our estrangement for three years.  I know through our shared tears and hugs that this will be a long road to rebuild our relationship.
    Through her tears she's asked why I can't forgive her dad for what he did and accept that he has changed?  Why am I asking her to forgive me and accept that I will do better when I can't accept her dad's change?  She finally realized that I am unable to see my ex-husband's change due to my inability to understand people's inner feelings due to my Aspergers.  I have to observe his actions over a period of years to be sure that he's not pretending to be a good person like he did for years with me.  Time will tell me his story of transformation.
     My daughter and I made a lot of headway today though.  She asked me to be formally diagnosed with Aspergers, since her psychologists think that she's just a complaining teenage daughter.  So I took two respected online tests for Aspergers and passed with flying colors, made a document of my test questions with my answers and results, and sent them off to her before she returned from her volunteer orientation as a CNA. 
     The tests were http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php and http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html.   Apparently, the circular charted results is an Aspie's badge and has to be kept as a source of pride.  We are called Aspies, apparently.  What a cute name for us.  There's even an Aspie Affection dating sight http://www.aspieaffection.com/index.php?page=login&errid=104.  My daughter strongly urged me to try to date men with Aspergers, so I joined.  I won't hurt any more unsuspecting normal men via my inability to be empathetic.  I won't be wasting time on a hopeless relationship path.  Someone would have to live with me to see that I have Aspergers.  It's painfully obvious then, because I have rigid routines, get over stimulated easily, go off on tangents in one-sided conversations, and have a need to be alone to calm down.
     Fortunately, when my daughter, Sara, returned home from her volunteer job, she was happy with me.  She told me that my Microsoft Word document of my two test results were perfect for her to show her psychologists in the future.  Now people will believe that she has a mother with Aspergers.  All that's left for me to do besides be quiet and just hug her when she's crying about something, is for me to research how to be a better mother with the confines of having Aspergers.
   

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Great Mother's Day Visiting My Daughter in Ohio

     Sara, Jon, and I had a great time together for Mother's Day today. On our way to the Cleveland Aquarium, our Mother's Day excursion, we passed the Firestone Mansion in Akron.  None of the Firestone family actually lives in Akron anymore, so it's used for public events like the Hearst Castle in California. Tires and rubber aren't made in Akron, Ohio, anymore, so those rubber and tire factories are closed.  The business is in China now.
     Upon approaching Cleveland we emerged from the tunnel of trees along the grassy highway to a view of dredging piles and factory cooling towers spewing a little smoke.  Some of the roads were all ripped up for repair, so the GPS wasn't as useful due to the detours.  After quite an unplanned tour of Cleveland neighborhoods, we happened upon the aquarium. 
     It's built within an old brick factory with a circular brick chimney. They put spiny lobsters into the chimney and had a view glass ceiling to view them.  It was cool to walk right under them. The builders of the aquarium didn't have to go far to find rusting steel beams for their larger shark aquarium.  Cleveland still has some steel factories and a plethora of abandoned factories from the exodus of our jobs to China.  I loved the enormous coral mixed with the steel beams, but was quickly corrected by my daughter that the coral was plastic and not real.  Fooled me!  The aquarium wasn't up to the grandeur of Legoland's, Sea World, or The Birch Aquarium in San Diego, but it was a cool aquarium.
    For a late lunch we went to Mel's in Lakewood and had fancy grilled cheese sandwiches. I had a fried Monte Cristo, the heart attack special.  It was insanely good and dripping in oil.  The portions are also enormous in Ohio, so I have breakfast for tomorrow. We all had to rest afterwards---we were so full. No wonder people are so obese in Ohio.

    Before we drove back to Akron we managed to stop at Lakewood Park on Lake Erie to see the prettiest view of Cleveland.  It was well worth the stop, albeit quite chilly due to the cold wind off this cold lake.  I got a wonderful picture of my daughter and her boyfriend there. :-)
   What a wonderful Mother's Day.  I'm so glad that I used some vacation days and credit card points to come visit my daughter in Akron.  It might not be as pretty as my home in Sacramento, but it has my daughter, a jewel!
    My son, though in San Francisco, gave me a great present today, as well.  He found off-campus housing.  I'd heard that it was super difficult to find and extremely expensive there, so I've quite relieved.  I hope that it's in a safe neighborhood.  I wouldn't want him living in the dangerous part of town, like my daughter recently did in Akron.  I had no idea until we toured her old neighborhood yesterday.  I'm glad that I didn't know and that she and Jon are safely living elsewhere now.   What a wonderful Mother's Day!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Fixing My Heart's Scar

    Most anyone who's a mother knows who much pain a mother's heart experiences when she's separated from her child.  Both my children are adults now, but my daughter's torrent separation from me when she left for college ripped my heart apart.  Today I flew to Ohio to see her.  We've been making baby steps to building an adult relationship over the last year.
    Last summer I took her boyfriend and her kayaking on La Jolla Cove, since her boyfriend is an avid kayaker.  That went well, and I found that my daughter was proud of her outdoor knowledge that I had instilled within her.  She confidently answered the guide's question about why the cliffs were white---because the cormorants were nesting on them and that the white was poop.  She also hopped in to the cove and swam around showing no fear of sharks or the deep blue sea which impressed her boyfriend.
    My heart wrenched with longing for her, so today I flew to Ohio to stay with her over Mother's Day.  I've never visited her in Ohio before.  I have had no frame of reference to think about her---no kitchen for her to meander about, no stoop to visualize her sitting upon, no campus to think about her walking through.  I needed to have that frame of reference.
    She couldn't pick me up at the airport, because of her new job, so her boyfriend did.  Her boyfriend and I didn't know each other well, so it was a little tense.  I figured that it must be incredibly uncomfortable for him to be alone with a "mother-in-law" figure.  Plus, I'm sure that he's heard a lot of complaints about me via my daughter. 
    Once I started asking him about kayaking, he started to be more relaxed.  Trying to fit my luggage in his 2-seater Mazda was also a conversation piece.  When we arrived to their old craftsman home, I pulled out pictures of Sara throughout her life.  That really broke the tension.  We both shared a love for Sara.  He especially adored her childhood modeling pictures and wanted to frame them. 
     When Sara arrived home from work as a clerk at a bookstore, I found that she, too, loved those old modeling pictures.  Here I always figured that I had scarred Sara by dabbling with the modeling business with her and her brother, Drew.  I guess that she actually was fond of those pictures after all.
      I noticed that Sara had lost a lot of weight and her face had lost its baby fat.  She was an independent woman, not my little girl anymore.  I couldn't believe that I have such an adult daughter---all dressed up professionally, towering over me, and in complete command of her life!
      She even insisted upon taking me out to dinner, since I had traveled all that way.  We ate at this upscale restaurant in downtown Akron.  I ordered the beef shoulder which she recommended, and it was outstanding.  The pink elephant martini, her Ohio cousin's favorite, was also quite delicious and extremely potent.  We laughed and truly enjoyed each other.  I loved watching how her boyfriend adored her, as well.
      When the check arrived, my daughter still insisted upon paying for it, because she now has her first job and can pay for my dinner!   I did take a picture of that.  That's monumental.  That's for which all parents strive---to launch their children properly, so that they can have a productive and happy life.  I've done my job. :-)

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Catching a Ride to Church with a 94-Year-Old

    Last night I remembered that my neighbor had told me about Fair Oaks Presbyterian Church, and that we could go together if I liked the church.  So I gave her a call.  She didn't remember me, so I reminded her that I had met her at our mailboxes.  It took a while to explain to her that I lived right across from her.  It took even longer to spell my last name to her---about 10 minutes.  I summoned all the patience that I had to restart and restart the spelling of my name.  It was quite a grating experience.  In the end we decided to meet at the mailboxes at 8:30 am.
    Before 8:30 am I walked outside to wait for her.  Then I saw her walk by toward the front gates of our community, so I chased after her yelling her name.  She didn't hear me.  When I caught up to her, she thought that I lived outside the gated community and was meeting her outside the gates.  During our discussion I found that she was 94 years old.  She might be losing it, but boy was she moving well at 94 years old.
    Her driver that takes her to the church arrived at 8:45 am, so I had quite a chat with my neighbor.  She said that she had always been a tomboy and kept active.  Her son was inheriting the house when she dies.  Her other son lives in Watsonville, so he doesn't care about the house.  Both her sons visit her often.  How wonderful!  She stopped driving, because she didn't want anyone to sue her and take the money that her husband had saved up to take care of her.  Her husband had also instructed her to never move, because this was a safe community for a single woman.
    Well, if this BRCA 1 gene mutation which causes my tumor suppressant system to fail doesn't take me out prematurely, I could remain active like her and live a long time.  I just don't know if I'd want to do that.  I'd have to endure a lot of friends and family dying before me.  I might have to even endure losing a love of my life, if I'm lucky enough to ever experience that.
     Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of our church driver.  I felt guilty getting a ride to church when I could drive myself, but we were heading to the same place.  I carefully opened the door for my older neighbor and made sure her seat was buckled before I closed her door.  My neighbor started chatting with the driver who she hadn't met before.  She introduced me to the driver using my first name, then asked me to spell my last name.
    Remembering the harrowing experience of spelling my last name the night before, I just said, "It's a very long, German last name and too difficult to spell."  I felt badly that I lacked any patience for her failing memory and hearing while going to church.  Fortunately, my neighbor remarked that her Dutch maiden name was also quite difficult to spell.  At least she'll forget all about me by tomorrow I'm sure!
    Upon our return from church she showed me her home.  It was smaller than mine.  She couldn't believe that I lived in such a large home by myself.  That seems to be the consensus in my community that a single woman shouldn't be living alone in a 2000 sq. ft. home.  She went as far as to try to sell me her place.  I guess that she forgot that her husband told her not to move and her son wanted it.  lol
   Once I excused myself from her home after quite a long conversation and viewing her portraits of her husband and family, I was still glad that I went to church with her.  It let me understand what my mother did when she drove older people to Fremont Presbyterian Church.  It made me appreciate my good health and healthy lifestyle.   It made me appreciate my family photos and the love of a good man.  Now I just have to find that good man.  At least I'm in no hurry, and I have plenty of room for him when I find him apparently. lol
  
P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Finally Found Some Hills to Bike in Flat Sacramento

    On Saturdays the American River Bike Trail is well used, so it's quite safe for a single woman to ride on it without too much worry about being accosted.  I still have a knuckle-mounted mace container on my hand.  When a man did ride up along that side of me, he may have noticed that, dropped back, and went the other way.  Oh, well, I guess there's no winning---I can't meet anyone on the bike trail, because I'm too busy keeping myself safe while I exercise there.
    Instead of just going around Lake Natoma, I decided to bike all the way to Folsom Lake where the hills are.  The Natoma and Folsom Lake dams were letting out an enormous amount of water.  It was quite beautiful to see so much white-water flowing voraciously over the dams and into the river below.  The river flooded the river islands and raced downward to Sacramento and ultimately, the Bay Area.
     As I was heading back another female rider took both her hands off the wheel to warn me and show me the size of the snake that I was about to encounter.  It took a few minutes for me to ride passed it, but she wasn't kidding.  I'm glad that I was speeding downhill when I passed.  I'd hate to be moving slowly uphill and not being able to clear that snake fast.
     Upon arriving back to Gold River, I stopped for a yogurt.  With every bite I listened to the foreigners speak in their language.  They must have been doing some sort of business with their tones and posturing inflections.  They looked like Arabs. There's a lot of different foreigners at the Starbucks a great deal of the time.  Interesting.  I have no idea why.
     Once my empty stomach was satisfied, I went home to stretch amongst my profusely-blooming roses.  The pain in my back started up quickly, even after stretching it.  Pulling up the hills always tweaks those middle-back muscles.  There's nothing like Advil and a Body Fit Stretch Ball to relax those muscles though.  At least I know that this single woman got her exercise today!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Boxing Deals

    My boxer had to get bad news today.  I graded his paper test that I painstakingly created just for him, since he couldn't pass the computerized test after months of tries.  If he passed my test, he could go on to the second module.  If he got less than 70%, he'd violate his new contract and be in danger of getting kicked out.  He got a 50%, but I advocated for him with the other math teacher.  I told her that I'd have him do Module 1 over.  That's 22 tests.  It's better than kicking him out for lack of progress.
     He took the news surprisingly well when I handed him a new Module 1 sheet with asterisks on the tests that he had to retake based upon his performance.  After class he informed me that he couldn't take the old master tests, because they were locked.  A student only gets two tries on master tests unless a teacher deletes old tests. 
     So I went into the old master tests and deleted his worst of his former tests for each lesson.  I was shocked that the teacher that I'd replaced had cut multiple deals with this student.  His old Module 1 testing sheet and the computer scores told me the whole story.  He wasn't able to get 80% or above on numerous lessons, so she gave him a paper test that was easier.  She didn't do him any favors.  He wasn't ready to be moved on.  He was passed forward to failure which is exactly how most of these SIATech students got here.
     Now I've learned how to be a better teacher.  Tough love means that I have to make my students do their work, no matter how my heart breaks for them.  They have to be ready to move on, or they'll be stuck in a stupor of failure, give up, and be on the street again. 
     Fortunately, my boxer is understanding my life lessons about being a famous athlete.  I informed him that you only make money when you're young and then you need a job.  He told me that he'd buy a boxing gym for his second job.
     I remember when he told me that I spurted, "Boy, did you just tell the wrong person that you're going to buy a gym to support yourself!  I lost 1.2 million dollars owning a gym.  They're a money pit, especially if you can't do math.  Your business manager will still from you and you won't even know it."
      Later he said that his grandpa would manage his money, so I was still concerned that my boxer might drop out of high school for boxing.  Today though he mentioned that with his sponsor he'd make $5000/month.  I explained that that would not support a family, and you've got to have two ways to make money, in case you lose one of your jobs. 
     Then he added, "$5000/month won't even support my grocery bill," and we laughed.  He's starting to understand the math after all!   As he was leaving he told the other teacher and me, "I love you guys!" :-)
    
P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Starting the Robotics Club

    My co-teacher asked me, "Do you have a lot of students attending your robotics club meetings today?"
    "No.  I'm just hoping for some former robotics team members to arrive, so that they can show me what they used to do.  Then I can build the program from there.  Otherwise, I'd be stuck in 'Paralysis by Analysis,' and I'd never get the group going."
     No one did show up for the meeting, but I found all the Vex robotic components after a half hour.  Finding the manuals that I read about on the Vex website was my main objective anyway.  I needed to understand the capabilities of these basic robots.  The robots that I redesigned often were shuttling expensive silicon wafers to particulate-free semiconductor reactors.  So they were very capable.
    While watching videos of the competitions and reading the manuals, I realized what fun this was going to be for me.  They want me to build this robotics program to be competitive with the San Jose and Albuquerque SIATechs, but I might not limit myself to that.  I might eventually take my club to national competitions with regular high schools.  Oh, how fun would that be to have the kids with absolutely nothing being noteworthy in a national competition?  They could get collegiate scholarships!
    My competitive tiger became poised to leap out of me.  That's how I compete---leaping.  I leap away from the competition, but not just away.  I leap a whole new level ahead when I feel like it.  My mind doesn't think like a normal person, so I'll just teach the kids to build robots that no one has built before with the Vex materials at hand.  What fun!

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!