This morning I visited Fair Oaks Presbyterian a second time to see if their moving music and inspirational pastoral message was a fluke. There was no bell choir or soloists or theatrical productions. The large, uniformed, Chancel choir sang their four-part harmony again. This time I tried to sing the alto part with them while using the choral book, but without practice that proved difficult. A different pastor delivered the message at today’s service.
He didn’t have the stage presence that the main pastor has. He did make tears come down my cheek, however. He spoke about the opposite of intimacy. “It’s not hate. No, love and hate are opposites, but the opposite of intimacy is abandonment.”
Abandonment. Abandoment. Abandoment. Is that when you had a family to which you gave your life and now you are sitting alone in a strange church where everyone else is sitting in couples and feeling blessed by the children surrounding them? Is that why I’m afraid to be intimate with a man again, because I just get abandoned? Yes, I’d have to agree that the opposite of intimacy is abandonment.
This pastor definitely twisted a thorn embedded within me. I didn’t even notice that thorn. Now I can pull that thorn out, so healing can begin. I haven’t had a pastor do that since my former Daybreak pastor.
After that wrenching realization I got ready to go kayaking with a high school acquaintance. We became friends on Facebook and found that we both like to kayak. It was nice to finally kayak with someone else.
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