Before her dress-choosing day started she insisted that she help me pick out a "Mother of the Bride" dress. OK, so she did threaten to turn me in to "What Not To Wear" when she was a teenager, so this was not an out-of-the-blue request. lol I was very comforted in my heart knowing that she'd like my dress at her wedding, so I had no worries.After my daughter tried on many wedding dresses, we had tears coming down our faces as we watched her become a beautiful bride to be. When she found her favorite dress and veil, she rang the bell which was a tradition at the Bridal Parlor. She was to be one of the most beautiful brides ever!
As the day approached, my daughter and I had planned on me arriving a few days earlier to scenic Akron, Ohio to help her with last minute issues. Unfortunately, one of my pilots in Salt Lake City disappeared, and I missed my connection due to the delay and my Mother/Daughter luncheon before everyone else showed up. We did manage to get our nails done together, before her Ohio Mom had her and her friends over for dinner. I also gave her the presents that I'd brought. Fortunately, I hadn't wrapped them, because my bag got rained on while it was on the tarmac and everything was damp. At least I kept the 500-gigabyte hard drive of my daughter's childhood in the original packaging, so the plastic kept it safe. The cutting board that I made from scratch and the Papyrus Essence from Aswan, Egypt that I'd bought for her a few years ago were fine, as well.
My AirBNB hosts recommended the lovely Chowder House Cafe in Cuyahoga Falls, so I made the best of my solitude and enjoyed the best cooked cod that I've ever had in my life. Since I was also not needed for the next day, I woke up at 5am and drove to Niagra Falls which is on my bucket list to see. It was a 3.5 hour drive---like a drive from Sacramento to Fresno---a California day drive. The Falls were well worth the drive! It was sunny and beautiful, unlike Akron, Ohio which was socked in with dark gray clouds and rainy. I did pray very hard for my daughter to have a beautiful, sunny day for her wedding when hearing over the radio that Akron's weather report for the wedding day was iffy.
I managed to only spend 2 hours at Niagra Falls, so I could get cleaned up and ready for the rehearsal dinner that my ex-husband was hosting at Briccos Restaurant in Akron. Now I had done a lot of preparation for the wedding. I'd been biking and kayaking 6 days a week after completing my Mt. Whitney climb in an attempt to make sure to look stellar and the apidemy of health to make the ex-husband have a tinge of regret for leaving me emotionally and to help my daughter by showing her husband-to-be that she was going to age well, too! I also wore a dress from 10 years ago that I wore on our family cruise down the Mexican Riviera.
When I saw my daughter at Briccos restaurant, she asked what I did that day. I wanted her to fully enjoy her friends without any guilt about me, and I told her exuberantly, "I went to Niagra Falls. I always wanted to go and I'm used to being the Party of One, so I just got up at 5 am and did it!" She smiled and was so happy that I made the best of my situation. I felt for her and her husband-to-be to have to juggle so many deeply hurt parents.
When I got to the parent table at the restaurant, the step mom asked me what I did that day, as well. I asked my ex-husband, "What did I always want to do every time that we came to Ohio?"
"I have no idea," he said with disdain.
"I went to Niagra Falls!" I said in triumph. His eyes still had no recognition of this desire that I had to see the Falls.
"You mean the Cuyahoga Falls?" the step mom interjected.
"No, the Niagra Falls on the border of Canada and the US in New York."
She had a look of amazement and added, "Oh, I love the Niagra Falls!"
We had a lovely dinner and were all very civil. My new friend, the new mother-in-law, was relieved that her ex-husband was not there. She was also kind enough to drive me home.
The wedding day finally arrived. It was the only sunny day with beautiful blue skies that Akron had seen and would see in ages. Thank you G_d! My son and his new wife picked me up too late to get any lunch, so we made due with lemonade until the food was served at the venue. I felt awkward about not being with the bride while she was getting ready, but she just wanted to be with just her friends beforehand. Then I saw emerge from the bridesmaid room her aunt, the Ohio mom. She invited me back, so I took her up on it.
I stayed as clear of my daughter in the bridesmaid room as possible, since it was her day and a Mitzvah to make the bride happy. My high heels were killing my usually hiking-boot-clad feet though, so I finally pulled up a chair a few feet from her and asked if I could bless her. She agreed, so I put my hand on her shoulder in order to not ruin her beautifully styled hairdo and did a blessing. Her friend next to me commented after I was finished, "Wow, that was really wonderful!"
After I sat down, I looked at her wrinkled bridal gown hanging up thinking, "Man, if I was included in the preparation that would have never happened. I painstakingly ironed every wrinkle out of her graduation gown just 2 months ago." Fortunately, her cousin had a professional steamer at home that would do the trick and her brother quickly arrived with it, so the wedding was not delayed too long. Her dad and step mom also arrived with her bouquet, so she was set to walk the aisle!
As the wrinkles were being steamed out, I noticed that my daughter was not wearing her Great Grandmother's pearl bracelet that I let her borrow. She had some new, hip, fake pearl bracelets all together as a set. I was aghast that she couldn't have added the single strand of my great grandmother's to the other ones and quietly said, "Are you wearing anything that is borrowed?"
"Mom! Stop! I have enough to worry about!" So I sat back with a strained, polite smile in my chair hoping not to be asked to leave.
Once my daughter started putting on her dress, the photographer started taking pictures and then waited for me to get near my daughter to help, so she could take the traditional Mother and Bride-to-be pictures. My daughter never realized that this was a tradition, but I quietly crouched down near the floor and helped her get her slip pulled down, since it wrinkled under her tightly-fitted dress. She was amazingly beautiful and when I looked into her eyes, I almost sobbed. "Oh, I'll stop. I don't want you to cry and ruin your beautiful makeup," I explained as I dabbed the teared corners of my eyes.
Finally, it was time for me to be seated near the front of the ceremony, since I was the first parent to walk down the aisle. I held the arm of the best man and walked like a joyous queen down the aisle with a beaming smile.
Finally the bridesmaids and bridesman joined all the groomsmen, and we all stood for my beautiful daughter as her dad escorted her down the aisle. I was so thankful that he was able to walk her. He almost died when the children were young in a car accident after falling asleep at the wheel. Though he never changed his erratic driving style, he learned not to drive while tired.
When her dad gave her away to the groom, the groom's eyes were so filled with emotional love for her and astonishment at how beautiful she looked. It was an amazing sight to see so much love for my daughter and her joy in her eyes to marry him.
I was so happy that she was able to find her soul mate and so happy for him to find a woman who was strong and could hold her own in a disagreement, so he would never create a dysfunctional dominate/submissive relationship, but an equal one. They had both learned well from their parents' debacles and chose a partner in life wisely!
The bridesmaids and bridesgroom posed with the bride.
The groomsmen posed with the groom.
The wedding party all posed together.
Family pictures came after the ceremony, so we all posed when requested to do so. We did a biological parent shot even though it was uncomfortable for us to stand so close to our ex's.
Then we did all the parents.
I managed to get one in with only my daughter and my son and his new wife were to the side of the unprofessional shot.
Then the reception began!
They did a traditional first dance and then a father/daughter dance. Later my son danced with me, since he knew that I loved to dance at weddings!
My ex-husband did a touching, long speech and then I went up to do one. I could see my daughter mouthing to her husband, "Oh, no!" He kissed her cheek gently to calm her.
"My daughter's pediatrician said when she was 2 that she had the energy for the next millennium! She does and became an amazing artist, equestrian, and nurse, and now she has met the most amazing man for her. I'm so happy for you two for finding each other. May G_d bless your marriage!" I said through my choked up tears and they both ran up and hugged me, and then I sat down while her Ohio mom did an impromptu speech, too. I told the groom later when I wasn't so nervous that he also has the energy for this new millennium, and he politely thanked me.
I spent most of my time with my son and his new wife who was also alone, but my ex-husband's new wife and I had a friendly chat, too. We both wanted peace for the family. I did join the ex's family table and explained to the ones with whom I was close that I didn't want to cause a problem for the new wife or ex-husband, so I gave my ex his family with the divorce. After hearing stories of other family ex's causing lots of problems for the siblings' new spouses, I decided that that would be the most loving thing to do. They understood, and I knew that they still loved me, too.
When the wedding started dying down, a bridesmaid and I helped my daughter out of her dress and bagged it and hung it up for her. Then my daughter surprised me as we walked back to the reception. She asked me to dance with her, and so we did! It was an incredible moment to hold her hands and dance like she was my little girl again, but now she is an incredible woman in her own right and an amazing man's wife. I told her when we finished how amazing she is to graduate cum laud, get and start a nursing job, and successfully plan a beautiful wedding. She smiled and hugged me.
My son and his wife intimated that they were ready to start their journey around the United States again and were my ride to my AirBNB room, so I thanked my daughter for inviting me and gave her a hug again, said my farewells to the ex and his wife, the bridal party, and the groom, and set off for my journey as Party of One. The gray clouds rolled back over Akron after my daughter's beautiful wedding. Thank you G_d for the beautiful day and the love that was shared!
Thank you G_d for beautiful sunset during a thunderstorm on my flight home, as well!
P.S. To my blog readers: If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at: https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960 Thank You!
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