Way back a couple months ago a female friend with good intention gave me a card for praying for a Jewish spouse with the instructions that I pray this prayer every night after I say the Shma for 40 nights. Well only after a few weeks of praying I got not one, but two matches on my See You At Sinai match making site.
One match had seen me in a dream before my match come to him, and he knew without a doubt that I was his Bashert! He was set to marry me in an instant. When he looked at me for the first time on Skype, he just about cried in delight and told me that he loved me!
He came out for a week during Succot. He was not fit as he propounded throughout his match making page. In fact he had a watermelon-sized belly. I was shocked when he got off the plane, but I was trying to not judge him by his outsides, though he lied about his fitness. He'd also given me his legal name by accident in an e-mail with his flight itinerary, so I had a friend do a background check while I drove to pick him up and to our surprise, he had been sued by the State of Washington for bad customer service!
After a week of gently questioning him around this point about being sued by the whole state of Washington, he explained that he was sick with prostate cancer and under care in Texas while he was being sued in Washington. When he returned to Washington, his wife had kicked him out and filed for divorce, so his last bit of money went to getting some custody of the children and not to defending himself from the State of Washington. This made some sense.
Over time he divulged that he was living off social security and that to afford for me to move to Seattle, he'd have to start a new business, so I wouldn't be supporting him. His e-mails soon changed from love poetry about physics to ideas for starting businesses. Soon I told him to stop e-mailing about businesses, because that was his issue. I had a job, and it kept me too busy to help start a business.
He still through business ideas by me, until one day he said, "Maybe I could get a CNC from that guy who owes my $50,000 for making a CNC for me, and I could make counterfeit collectible coins with counterfeit written on the side of the coin."
"That's a federal offense!" I interjected.
After that phone call I paid for a background check on him and then investigated his father to see if his father taught him how to criminally think and not realize it was criminal. Sure enough his dad had been put in jail for 6 months by the State of Texas for melting feathers to put into pet food. The smell was so horrible from their plant that the people of Waco, Texas filed a suit.
Fortunately, G_d had a now expelled student torch a feather in my class to try to get me to evacuate it. Since it didn't smell like burning plastic which is toxic, I didn't evacuate the class. It did smell horrible and that was just one feather. I could imagine how badly his father's plant had smelled. I could imagine why a whole city filed suit against him and put him into jail.
When I asked this suitor who desperately wanted to marry me about if his family has had any other legal issues while doing business. He didn't admit to it. Then I said, "So you didn't have any problems in Texas?"
He blamed those problems on antisemitism. Now I would have believed that, if G_d hadn't had that student torch a feather in my class. G_d also had the poor suitor suffer from a very bloody bladder disease right after Yom Kippur, so G_d was really not happy about this guy pursuing me so strongly.
I'd also found that he was using his deceased father's name to do business in Seattle. He'd mentioned that his new business would also have to be under my name, not his. This just made my skin crawl that he could put me into jail with some sketchy business deal, so I finally told him that he wasn't ready for this relationship and ended it.
A few days later I went back to my other match that I'd previously told that I've found my Bashert, so I didn't want him to wait around for me. For some reason I never ended our match formerly, so I explained that the guy that I thought was my Bashert was a criminal. I was a corporate spy and did a background check and found that he had some criminal behaviors in business. My other match was kind and liked the idea that I was a corporate spy and took me back, but said that he would dating others.
Well, it's been well over a month since this other match actually communicated with me. I was actually going to formerly end it with him. Then, out of the blue, he called. He talked on and on like we've been talking every week. I did face exercises to rid me of my jowls in the reflection of my black window while I listened to him. I finally asked him, "Why haven't you ever been married?"
Then he started another soliloquy with exceptional detail and added at the end, "I'm on the autism spectrum."
"Oh really," as if I hadn't figured that one out. "What type of autism?"
"I have Aspergers."
"Well, so do I. How does yours exhibit?"
He doesn't have the tactile issues that I have, but he has little twitches like twirling his hair.
I added, "I said it was OK for my matches to have Aspergers, but I didn't say that I had it, since I can pass as a neural typical." I explained in detail how my daughter made me take the Aspie test, because she was so upset to be raised by an mother with Aspergers. My son is half neural typical and half Aspie.
"Aren't female Aspies rare?" He asked.
"Incredibly."
We shared our wonderful soliloquies of our very interesting adventures for over an hour---being gracious and letting the other talk without interrupting. We didn't have to worry about being misunderstood. We didn't have to worry about boring the other. We didn't have to try to be neural typical. We just were ourselves.
I ended the conversation, "So, you'll call in another month?"
He laughed.
"Could you make it sooner this time---like a week?" I added.
And so G_d answered my prayer for a Jewish spouse, and I chose wrong. At least G_d let us have another chance to figure out that we were each other's Bashert.
P.S. To my blog readers: If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at: https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960 Thank You!
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