Inspired by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

   Today I continued reading Rabbi Jonathan Sacks new book, "Not In G_d's Name---Confronting Religious Violence."  It is an illuminating perspective about what makes people altruistically evil and violent.  Being someone who has fought unwarranted abuse with love on many levels, I could relate to this daunting issue of illogical attacks on peaceful people.  I once had a therapist at UC Berkeley once say to me, "Why do you keep going back to those people [my siblings] with love?"  Rabbi Sacks finally explained why I do that.
     He starts by saying that dualism is the seed to altruistic evil.  Dualism leads people to believe that there are good people and bad people.  Really we are all capable of good and bad.  Some of us were lucky to be nurtured to choose to behave better, but in our hearts we all have darkness and light.  No one people is all darkness and all light, not Jews, not Hindus, not Muslims, not Christians, not Buddhists, not any one people.  There is no dualism.  We are all loved by the one true G_d of Abraham as we are with all our goodness and all our evil.  He knows our thoughts and loves us as we are.
     Rabbi Sacks discusses how not Jesus, but Paul started a rivalry between the Jews and the Christians.  Both Jesus and Paul were Jewish, Paul just had a different agenda which rewrote the history of Jews in a lesser role.  He wrote, "Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman's [Hagar] son [Ishmael] will never share in the inheritance with the free woman's [Sarah] son [Isaac]."  He further implied that Sarah represented Christianity and Hagar represented Judaism which is just a marketing fabrication for Christianity that has lasted to this day.
     Interesting enough Rabbi Sacks explains that after Sarah died, Isaac did not want Abraham to be alone when Rebekah was found and brought back for Isaac.  So Isaac went to Beer Lahai Roi as Abraham started the search for Isaac's wife.  Who was in Beer Lahai Roi?  Hagar and Ishmael lived there.  Hagar, per Rabbi Sacks is Keturah, Abraham's wife after Sarah died.  Isaac brought her back for his father, so he would also have a wife.  That is why at Abraham's death both Issac and Ishmael stood together at their father's burial.
    G_d always loved Hagar and Ishmael, as did Abraham.  G_d always loved Sarah and Isaac as well.  Yes, Sarah had Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael away, but after her natural death a reconciliation happened and there was peace and love.  G_d loves us in His own way in His own time.  It is for us to keep the gates of love open and always try to forgive others, especially when we see that even in our own hearts we can find darkness, just as in Sarah's heart she had a moment of darkness, because she bore jealousy toward Hagar and wanted to be like her and bear a child.
     Again with Jacob and Esau we have a similar rivalry.  Jacob wants to be the first born and grabs his brother's heel, then steals his brother's blessing.  Jacob wants to be like his brother Esau and receives the blessing, "May G_d give you of the dew of the heavens, and the richness of the earth, and abundant grain and wine.  May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you.  Rule over your brothers, and may your mother's sons bow down to you."(Gen. 27:28-29)  This blessing was meant for Esau though.  Esau was the man of this world and Jacob was the man of G_d.
     Jacob did get his blessing that Isaac intended for him, "May G_d Almighty bless you, make you fruitful and increase your numbers so that you become a community of peoples.  May he give you and your descendants the blessing of Abraham, so that you may take possession of the land where you now live as a foreigner, the land G_d gave to Abraham." (Gen. 28:3-4)  So Jacob did not need to steal his brother's blessing which was not appropriate for Jacob.  Jacob was the one to carry on the spiritual covenant and was freely given the spiritual blessing.
     When Jacob returned to meet Esau after 22 years, he wrestled an angel and wouldn't let him go until the angel gave him a blessing, "No longer will it be said that your name is Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with G_d and men and have prevailed." (Gen. 32:24)  This meant that Jacob was ready to not struggle to be Esau anymore.  He was ready to struggle being Israel, himself.
     Upon greeting his brother Esau, he gave his brother his riches of the earth that he'd gathered and had every member of his family, including himself bow down to Esau as a way of returning the blessing that he'd stolen from Esau, so many years before.  Israel did not need these blessings.  G_d blessed him with his own blessings, because G_d blesses us according to our lot.
     It is said that a happy person is at peace with their lot in life.  That person is happy with their role in this world that G_d bestowed upon them with love.  That is how we have world peace.  We recognize that we each have both bad and good in each of us.  We recognize that the stories of rivaling siblings in the Bible were stories of young people striving to be like their sibling and finally realizing to be happy, they must be happy with the life that G_d wanted them to have.  Then their was peace and love and reconciliation.
     One day my peace and love will be accepted by my siblings.  Now at least I know that they must be happy with their lot in life in order to accept my alms.  All that I can control is that I am happy with my lot in this world and that G_d loves me for whom I am with all my bad and good wrapped up inside of me.

 P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!   

Salary Negotiation

     My financial life as a teacher has been a pain to witness for some time, but this week after being told that I would only be given 3 years of experience for teaching and being placed at C4 on the salary scale---$45,526---I put my negotiating foot down hard.  I explained that was a big problem, like me selling my house and quitting teaching problem.  Then I asked to speak to the pencil pusher's boss.  She was busy, so I drove to my high school and spoke to my principal, who got me to a C6.

    The pencil pusher was not pleased with my principal apparently and asked me for work verification.  I forwarded his e-mail to my principal noting, "Are they asking me for more paperwork that they're going to reject, since they rejected so many of my years of experience?"

     Late Thursday night the pencil pusher's boss contacted me with thorough reasoning about why she needed my work verification.  I gave her my work verification which was going to the California Department of Education for my engineering credential that never happened in 2010 and noted why I had it on hand.  I asked her to let me know soon where she was placing me, so I could get my real estate agent back online, if necessary. 
     She e-mailed me back immediately and put me at C9 on the salary schedule!  I got an amazing raise!!!  I don't have to struggle financially anymore!

     My students are also wonderful and angels to manage, my principal is supportive, my high school is an amazingly well-funded and forward-thinking campus, and my district is finally paying me what I am worth!  I feel so blessed!!!  I even talked to my mom in the world to come and said, "I made it, Mom!  I finally made it!"

 P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!   

Kayaking Trip to Emerald Bay

   It was a Friday, and I got all my chores done.  The only thing left was driving up to Tahoe and finding a place to launch my kayak as close enough to Emerald Bay as possible.  I ended up finding a public launch next to Camp Richardson, but it cost $8.  Since I got there late, they only charged me $4!  Happily I launched my kayak on her maiden voyage on Lake Tahoe!

    As I paddled through the marina the water changed from tan to Tahoe blue, especially as I paddled across from Baldwin Beach where I'll launch for free next time!

    I only had 2.5 hours to paddle to Emerald Bay from Camp Richardson, so I divvied up 1 hour and 15 minutes each way and managed to get to Lower Eagle Point Campground within Emerald Bay.  At the narrow opening of the bay many large boats slowing to 5 mph can swamp you with their enormous wakes, so you have to be very careful at this opening and position your kayak perpendicular to the large wakes.

 P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Conversations Between the Sexes and Oneself

Long before I converted to Modern Orthodox Judaism, I agreed to their interaction rules which are not very different from my professional rules of modesty and male and female interaction.   I already had definite opinions as a former corporate engineer and the only woman in my department about what rules were appropriate and what were not for interactions between the sexes and knew that the way I dress was the first step to communicating across sexes and how I communicated ideas had to be constantly examined for sexism and modified for my male audience.  

My peers also had to adjust to me being around.  They never let their wives meet me.  After all, I was the blond bomb shell that was quite an effective corporate engineering spy.  What wife would want me working next to their husband day in and day out, though I was no threat to their marriage?  I knew the playing field and did what I could to dress professionally and cover up around so many male engineers, many of whom routinely visited lingerie luncheons---risqué fashion shows at bad restaurants which diminished the respectability of women.  Once these coworkers even tried to leave me out of the engineering bonding activity, the male softball league, but I insisted upon being the manager of the team, if women couldn’t play.  The sexes have to have a safe playing field upon which to interact and build respect for and understanding of each other.

Conversations between the sexes is crucial to learning that opposite sexes are more than just sexual objects, but are valuable allies and resources.  I remember when I was a Christian and I had a new pastor who was unable to talk to women for fear of having an affair.  I wrote him an uplifting letter expressing my sympathies for his scars from his father’s affair, but I looked forward to seeing him evolve passed that.  Instead he embraced and nurtured his wound, showed a movie to the congregation about how he was scarred, and made it his cross to bear.  He remained quite defensive toward women needing to converse with him privately.  For instance, when I went to tell the pastor the results of my surgery---that I didn’t have a cancerous tumor and wasn’t going to die after all, his wife saw me standing next to him and rushed over by his side like a trophy wife rushing over to guard her husband from another attractive woman.  I was aghast!

This pastor became quite popular and built a huge church.  What if this pastor teaches this practice to a lot of men and women?  Then women will have fewer opportunities in business.  How do you take a woman with you to Malaysia who is vital for the business negotiation with this kind of Neanderthal mentality?  You don’t.  This mentality is dangerous to women.  We are not all after men for sex and security.  We want to work and have job opportunities and independence.

So what do we do?  We learn to look at everyone as people, not men and women.  We learn not to dress provocatively at work, unless that’s part of our work that we choose to do.  We learn to examine our own feelings continuously and test them with the questions, “If he were a woman, would I say or do this?”  “If she was a man, would I say or do this?” “Is my jealousy of my spouse’s boss, coworker, or subordinate based upon fact or my own insecurities?  Maybe I should get to know this person better, so I’ll feel better and not limit a career or friendship unnecessarily.”

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Kayaking Down the American River in Red, White, and Blue on the 4th of July!

    My favorite kayaking group in Sacramento is the Sacramento Paddle Pushers.  Lynn, the leader, did an excellent job of organizing this one!  Here's some videos.
    We started out at Sailor Bar.

     We made it safely to the San Juan Rapids.

       One of our kayakers went over in the rapids, but the Rangers were there and saved him.

      Then we paddled after lunch and went through the Arden Rapids and took out at Gristmill.

  P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Eppies Great Race Dreaming

    Well, I can't ever be in Eppie's Great Race, because I'm Shomer Shabbos, and the race is on Saturday.  But, today I kayaked the course with the Sacramento Paddle Pushers, so I know that I could do the Iron Woman now---if the race was on Sunday.
    We launched at Fairs Oaks Walking Bridge off Sunrise Blvd.

     Then our leader showed us where Eppie's Great Race kayakers launch---just above the Sunrise Walking Bridge.

    Soon the first fast flow appeared.

     Eventually we approached the dangerous, yet short San Juan Rapids.

    After the rapids there is this super cute shoe tree---a collection of shoes that people lose in the rapids.

      A few racers were with us, so when we came to the triple fork, we determined the middle fork is the fastest.

     After the triple fork is a double fork.  The fastest fork is the left one.

      Finally, we came to the finish line for Eppie's Great Race.

P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!

Seeing G_d

          It would seem that G_d created us to bestow good upon us.  He is our Creator and created us in His image, so we would create.  He gave us what we see, touch, hear, taste, smell, and sense spiritually so that from this we would chose to create good and to lovingly delight G_d. 

SheRahEl means “He who sees G_d,” what Israel means.  He wanted to find vessels, humans, that would use what was given to them to create this good and "see" Him.  Israel was not defined, however.

Per Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan in “The Aryeh Kaplan Reader, The Jew” on p. 160, “If Adam would have been worthy and would not have sinned, then all of his children would have been worthy of the Torah.  If not for Adam’s sin, all mankind would have had the status of ‘Israel’.

            “Because of Adam’s sin, however, the Torah [the instructions for behaving in this world] was restricted to the small portion of mankind who would be worthy of receiving it.  The rest of the human race were given seven commandments, binding on every human being.  They are:

1.     Not to worship idols.

2.     Not to blaspheme G_d.

3.     To establish courts of justice.

4.     Not to murder.

5.     Not to commit adultery or incest.

6.     Not to steal.

7.     Not to eat flesh from a living animal.

“Of these commandments, only the first six were given to Adam himself.  The last commandment would have been redundant for him, since the eating of all animal flesh was forbidden until the generation of Noah.  Thus, the final commandment, forbidding the eating of flesh from a living animal, was given to Noah and his sons.

“These commandments were given in order that man receive an eternal reward for obeying them, and thus we are taught that a non-Jew who obeys these seven laws has a portion in the World to Come.  However, these commandments were also meant to benefit man morally in this world as well.  Thus, the prohibitions against idolatry and blasphemy taught man to worship and respect G_d, this being the foundation of all morality and ethics.  This was further strengthened by the commandments forbidding murder, incest/adultery and robbery, as well as the one requiring the administration of justice.  Finally, the prohibition against eating flesh from a living animal separated man from the savage, teaching him kindness toward his fellow creatures and control of his base appetites.”

As always, after the flood humans started reverting back to paganism.  During the time of Abraham, the world was ripe with G_d being just about anything that one could see and usually touch.   We humans are so drawn to idols which is one small reason why G_d has always concealed Himself in this world and one cannot “See” G_d in the literal sense, we only see His creations and His light---His effects.  No human has seen G_d’s entirety and remained living in this world.

Abraham, the father of many nations, arose to seek only G_d and turned from idols.  Just as Adam had children that did not all “See G_d,” so did Abraham. Isaac “saw” G_d, and begot Jacob and Essau.  Only Jacob, however, turned from idols and “saw” G_d in this generation.  It was also Jacob who finally attained “Israel.”

(Genesis 32:25-29):  Jacob remained alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.  When the man saw that he could not defeat Jacob, he struck him in the hollow of his thigh, and Jacob’s hip was dislocated as he wrestled.  The man then said, “Let me go, for day is breaking.”  Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.  The man asked him, “What is your name?”  and he answered, “Jacob.”  The man then said, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob.  From now on it shall be Israel, for you have been great with G_d, and you have prevailed against man.”

It was then that “Israel” was decided.  Jacob had a relationship with the one true G_d and abstained from being part of the pagan practices all around him.  Though being “Israel” is now being part of the Jewish people and studying Torah, it is also “Seeing” G_d.  Through the ages those Jews who do not “See” G_d are weeded out by G_d. 

It is an unusual time, though.  Many feel the strength of Jews that don’t “See” G_d and have taken on the ways of man is needed to defend the “Israelis” that have been great with G_d, and prevailed against man.  This is probably the repeating story line throughout the ages.  It’s best to be a strong Jew and prevail against man and “See” G_d like Jacob did.  G_d, after all, can do anything and defend His people once more.  Also, the requirements for entering the World to Come for a Jew is much more difficult than abiding by the seven Noahide Commandments whether one “Sees” G_d or not.  Blindness to the one bestowing good upon us is no excuse at the gates of the World to Come.


P.S.  To my blog readers:  If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at:  https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960         Thank You!