To keep positive momentum going in our healing relationship, I invited my daughter with her fiance and my son with his girlfriend to Tahoe over the December break to snow ski. My son insisted that instead of paying for lessons that I actually teach all of them how to ski. That seemed quite daunting. Memories of my friends with bloody lips from me taking them on slopes that were too hard came to my mind. Memories of my brothers getting on both sides of me and skiing me off a cliff in retribution for me trying to teach my ex-husband how to jump a cornice when he was only an intermediate skier came to my mind. Being an expert skier after starting to ski at 7 years old makes one forget what is scary and what is difficult.
However, now I'm a high school teacher who knows how to teach. I just didn't know where to begin. So early in December I started asking ski instructors that I rode with on chairlifts how to teach beginners, so I wouldn't inadvertently upset, hurt, and scare my children! The first step to learn how to ski is walking on skis. How simple!
It's simple in theory, but if a person has never used an edge to stop a snowboard or an ice skate, walking on skis is completely foreign. My son's girlfriend had never seen snow before she arrived at my Tahoe home. So she was quite a challenge to teach. In contrast, my daughter and son both learned to snow board when they were children, so walking on skis wasn't such a problem once I showed them side stepping and V-stepping to climb up a hill.
Since I learned to ski at Boreal Ski Resort, I chose that resort to teach my adult children. When I learned how to ski there with my dad, he'd push me down the hill, and he'd push me back up the hill by the lodge. Later, I progressed to the rope tow, and finally the beginner chair. I remember not being able to get off one chair lift there, so the chair operator had to take my skis off and have me fall into his arms.
Boreal Ski Resort now has an amazing set up for beginner skiers! They have mowed down the hill where my dad had pushed me, so beginners could easily walk on their skis to their runs. There are two escalators that the skier just steps onto and it takes them up a very mild incline, so they can learn how to stop and turn. The escalators are much easier to ride than a rope tow or chair. That was such a blessing for our start.Once my daughter got off the escalator she was having a hard time fighting her fear of not being able to stop. She remembered how to turn, but she immediately fell to stop herself when she started moving too fast. Her fiance and I were there and she said, "I don't want to ski! I can't do this!" and her bottom lip went out like it did when she was a little girl, though now she is graduating the top of her class in nursing school. Immediately, I got uphill from her and did a mommy coo, "It's going to be all right. Just let me ski you down the hill so you get a feel for it." I wrapped my skis and self around my daughter who was 4 inches taller than me and hugged her closely to me and guided her skis with mine down the hill to the bottom of the escalator without incident.
Without any prodding she got back onto the escalator and tried again. She slowly snow plowed down the gentle slope and made large turns until she was at the bottom of the escalator again. Over and over again she tried and tried and became better and better as I skied behind her and encouraged and coached her as my teacher self, a person that she did not know.
My son's girlfriend also skied with me wrapped around her, but it took her much longer to figure out how to slow herself and stop. Sometimes I just had her move a ski back and forth on the snow and slide it and then grab an edge, so she could have some understanding of what edges do. Eventually, she was able to turn, but would crash into the safety fence and rest awhile.
My son, on the other hand, was doing quite well with little help. My daughter's fiance was enjoying the moment, but he wrestled demons from his last ski trip when he was badly hurt. Once his demons were pinned down his advanced-intermediate-skier self got bored. Then he tried to do what all more advanced skiers do to less advanced skiers---get them to go on a more interesting run though they might not be ready. I started to see him act as I once did, which earned me a warning from all who skied with me to all who wanted to ski with me, "Beware!" So I took him away to explore some more advanced runs while everyone practiced.We had a lovely time getting to know each other. It ended up that he was the one that insisted that my daughter "friend" me on Facebook. He told her that that was just mean. He also had to pay his own way through college, and I paid for my daughter's while working four to five jobs, so he felt that that was especially mean. I really like my son-in-law to be!
After days of me teaching my kids and their significant others how to ski, we had a lot of successes. My son ended up skiing at my same speed, albeit a bit frightening for me to watch, since he lacked some control. He lovingly told me in his own words that his goal is to ski with me so that I don't have to continue my 40 years of calling out "Single!" to find another person to ride an expert ski chair with me. My son-in-law to be and I really enjoyed skiing and exploring the mountain together and perhaps he'll insist that I teach the grandchildren how to ski on their family ski vacations! My daughter became an intermediate skier and started reminding me of my mother. She has my mom's graceful, but tentative style. My son's girlfriend may or may not ski again, though she did learn to use her edges and stop eventually. What wonderful skiing memories we made all together!P.S. To my blog readers: If you want to support a struggling math/engineering teacher and author, please buy my first book, "The Romance of Kilimanjaro," soon to be followed by my second book at: https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613464960 Thank You!
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